Cubs’ influence doesn’t help Dodgers’ thinking

I didn’t understand it at first, officials discovering more rats at Angel Stadium rather than Dodger Stadium, forgetting to take into account, I guess, that rats are going to abandon a sinking ship.

On July 18, the Dodgers had more wins than any other team in the National League, but seven teams began play Monday night with better records than the Choking Dogs, an eighth team tied with the Dogs, and Brett Tomko scheduled to pitch tonight. Bow wow.

The motto now is “just wait until next year,” not surprising when you take note they are being run by Ned Colletti, a GM who grew up a Cubs fan before becoming the team’s publicity director in charge of delivering that perennial message of hope and fraud to frustrated fans.

Cubs fans have been waiting since 1908 for another World Series win, so don’t expect the former Cubs fan and employee to be in any rush to win overnight. The Dodgers, after all, don’t even seem to be in a hurry to win another playoff game.

It’s all about the kids around here, and to heck with going for it all when you have the best record in the league more than halfway through the season. Just wait until next year when the Dodgers add some more kids to the roster -- with the understanding, of course, it might take them a little more time to develop. Just wait until the year after next year.

Just imagine, though, if it was Kevin Malone, Dan Evans or Paul DePodesta calling the shots for the Choking Dogs these days, and asking for a little more patience.

Just imagine the reaction had it been Malone, Evans or DePodesta who signed Jason Schmidt to a huge contract and Juan Pierre to a five-year-deal, a year after giving Bill Mueller $9.5 million for two years and getting only 32 games out of him. Or trading for Mark Hendrickson. Or dismissing Eddie Murray to get the Dogs’ money’s worth out of Mueller. Yeah, he’s made a difference.

Good news, though, things are looking up for the Dogs -- they just added Shea Hillenbrand to the roster. Bow wow, indeed.

THE DODGERS have become a Los Angeles embarrassment. One playoff win since 1988, and now sitting in fourth place. Behind the Rockies.

This season, in a league void of standout teams and a division featuring nothing special in Arizona and San Diego, the Dodgers have played like Choking Dogs. They have lost seven straight series, crumbling against the sub .500-likes of Houston, Cincinnati, San Francisco and St. Louis.

They began a homestand with another loss to the Astros. Great news, though, they scored a run.

“We feel the only team that can beat us is ourselves,” said Manager Grady Little, and the Choking Dogs are pretty darn good -- beating themselves 17 times in 23 tries.

The Dogs have fallen 6 1/2 games behind the Diamondbacks, the Diamondbacks minus Randy Johnson, and it won’t be long before Arizona starts posting a magic number.

Do the Diamondbacks have it in them to fall apart down the stretch?

“I have no idea,” Colletti said, which has to be reassuring to Dodgers fans.

“You’re paid to know these things,” I said. “You’re one of 30 GMs in baseball, spending all your time studying it and you don’t have any idea?”

“I have an idea, but I don’t have to tell you,” he said.

“So first you tell me you have no idea, but the truth is -- you really do have an idea, but just don’t want to reveal it” like it’s some kind of Pentagon secret.

“Ask your question again,” Colletti said, while sounding more and more like Malone, Evans and DePodesta.

I repeated it and Colletti said, “they might or might not” fall apart down the stretch, and then he asked me, “How would you answer that question?”

“I’d say Arizona’s young players are probably playing a little better than expected, but we have to hope they struggle a little now and we get hot.”

“I like that,” Colletti said. “Put me down for saying that.”

So now in addition to motivating the Dogs, I also have to work as team spokesman. What next -- pitching for them? “It might come to that,” said Little, and I’m not sure he was joking.

LITTLE ANNOUNCED that Hendrickson will no longer be a part of the Dodgers’ rotation. I wanted to know if he had flipped a coin between Tomko and Hendrickson -- Hendrickson losing yet again, but Little wouldn’t say.

Little said Hendrickson’s spot in the rotation will be taken by someone who is not here yet in a Dodgers uniform. An example of nothing actually being better than something.

FIRST-PITCH swinging Nomar Garciaparra is playing like someone in a hurry to get this season over. He just got ejected; he’s in a bigger hurry than I thought.

It’s a good thing the Dogs had Hillenbrand to take his place. I would appreciate it if Angels fans would stop laughing; the Dogs are doing the best they can.

DELWYN YOUNG had six hits in his last eight at-bats, so the Dogs sent him back to the minors because he obviously doesn’t fit in with this bunch.

Hillenbrand, by the way, just made his Choking Dogs’ debut and hit into a double play, and then grounded out in the ninth. He’s going to fit right in.

UCLA AD Dan Guerrero said he knew nothing about the criminal history of assistant coach Eric Scott, while Karl Dorrell said he knew Scott had a troubled past, but he didn’t know all the details. Here’s a guy who is going to go into the homes of recruits, charged now with the task of convincing mom, pop and kid the right place is UCLA, and the Bruins’ brass didn’t think it was that important to do their homework.

The fact he’s been arrested twice for concealed weapons and could be packing, though, just might be the edge UCLA needs in the recruiting war with USC.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.