It was criminal to invite everyone to this class reunion

Maybe the villain was the student voted Most Likely to Need Legal Counsel.

A Carpinteria resident played host to 40 people at a class reunion at her house and told police afterward that about $220 worth of cash and items had been stolen, including a pair of shoes, the Coastal View News reported the other day.

Ten years from now, if 39 people show up at the reunion, we could have a breakthrough in the case.

You think the no-talking rule is strict ... : Mort Scribner of Monrovia read about one library’s rules and said he would be nervous about entering the building for fear he’d be locked inside (see accompanying).

Unclear on the concept: Gregory Daniels of Canyon Country noticed that one store seems to observe 48-hour days (see accompanying).

Dueling dialogue: Helen Mirren, who won Golden Globes for playing Elizabeth II in the movie “The Queen” and for playing Elizabeth I in an HBO miniseries, also portrayed a cop in the PBS series “Prime Suspect.” In the most recent episode of “Suspect,” she growls to a subordinate: “Don’t call me ma’am. I’m not the bloody queen.” (Can’t blame the guy for being confused.)

Reminded me of the contradictory lines Kevin Costner had in “JFK” and “Bull Durham.” In “JFK,” he was a New Orleans attorney who believed that Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone in the shooting of the president. In “Bull Durham,” he was a baseball player who at one point tells his girlfriend he believes in hanging curves and “long, wet kisses” and “I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.”

Important reminder: Mike Hippler of Cypress points out that one of the new state laws says a court can impound a vehicle if the driver is convicted for a second time of dumping waste matter, including “body parts.” By coincidence, onetime newsman Deke Houlgate recalled a story on that subject at the Old Fuds Society of retired journalists.

In the 1950s, when Elvis Presley and his gyrating pelvis were the talk of the nation, a local publicist wanted to honor Presley’s manager, Col. Tom Parker, with a unique gift -- a hip. A real human hip. Packed in ice, I think.

It wouldn’t have been as difficult to procure as you might think, since the press room in the L.A. police building was near the coroner’s office, which had plenty of extra parts.

Alas, the publicist learned he might get in trouble with the law, so he abandoned the idea.

Would have been interesting to see how Parker reacted to being the butt of a joke.

miscelLAny: You never know when it’s going to snow in downtown L.A.

After all, it happened as recently as 1949. So it’s a good idea to stay prepared.

In that regard, B.J. Cohen of Tarzana notified me about one Albuquerque resident’s sly plan to clear his frontyard (see photo).

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.