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The aptly named Raiders

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Times Staff Writer

Now that Lane Kiffin, USC’s 31-year-old offensive coordinator, has agreed to become the Oakland Raiders’ new head coach, we have some insight into the strategy behind Al Davis’ latest coaching search.

First the Raiders themselves, then Art Shell and now Kiffin. Piece by piece, Davis is succeeding in his insidious plot to move all of Southern California to Oakland.

Davis’ plan hit a temporary snag when Steve Sarkisian, USC’s assistant head coach, turned him down. Undaunted, Davis kept flipping through the USC media guide until he found a coach who would sign.

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Sarkisian, 32, could have become the NFL’s youngest head coach, a distinction that now belongs to Kiffin.

Some have said it is too early in Kiffin’s career for him to be a head coach in the NFL. Raiders fans would contend it’s a year too late.

Had Kiffin been in place this time last year, there’s a decent chance he’d have drafted Matt Leinart instead of Texas defensive back Michael Huff. With Leinart still on the board, the Raiders passed, however, and now enter another draft desperate to find someone, anyone, who can do the same.

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Trivia time

At 31 years and 8 months, Kiffin becomes the NFL’s youngest coach of the modern era. Before Kiffin, who had been the youngest?

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If only the Seahawks had won

It took the New Orleans Saints 40 years to reach a conference championship game -- and when they finally got there, they had to play the game in Chicago.

Of all the rotten luck.

Not only did the Saints lose to the Bears, 39-14, but when the team checked into its hotel Saturday, New Orleans linebacker Danny Clark was served with papers naming him in a paternity suit by a Chicago woman.

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According to the Chicago Sun Times, private detective Michael Slevnik waited three hours in the lobby of the Hyatt Regency McCormick Place before spotting Clark, who’d played at the University of Illinois. The newspaper described Slevnik as “a rabid Bears fan.”

A quick preview of future Saints trips to Chicago:

“Who dat?”

“Oh, dat’s my daddy.”

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Late-night football

Jay Leno, on the Saints’ loss to the Bears: “The Bears treated New Orleans worse than President Bush. I haven’t seen people in Chicago that happy since Oprah gave away those cars.”

Leno also riffed on the AFC title game.

“New England was this close to winning, and then they let it slip away,” he said.

“So John Kerry, you are not alone.

“Tom Brady of the Patriots was so upset after the game, to try and cheer him up, Michael Vick lent him his water bottle....

“Police say they will not file charges against the quarterback Michael Vick, because lab tests showed even though the water bottle smelled like marijuana, it did not contain marijuana. So you know what that means? He paid five hundred bucks for oregano.”

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David Beckham item of the day

On Tuesday, Madame Tussauds New York unveiled David and Victoria Beckham wax figures imported from Madame Tussauds London. The figures, draped in American flags, are posed next to President Bush’s wax figure holding a “Welcome to America” sign.

The wax figure of David Beckham is incredibly lifelike. It, too, has never appeared in a World Cup final.

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Trivia answer

John Madden was 32 years and 10 months when he became the Raiders’ head coach in 1969.

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And finally

When Arsenal striker Robin van Persie kicks a soccer ball, he really puts his foot into it. He broke the fifth metatarsal in his right foot when he scored the tying goal Sunday in a 2-1 Premier League victory over Manchester United and will be out of action for at least six weeks.

That’s a tough break both for van Persie and Arsenal, since he’s the team’s leading scorer.

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mike.penner@latimes.com

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