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This guy is obviously from the clueless branch of his family

The March issue of the Thin Blue Line, an LAPD newspaper, relates what may hold up as the dumbest line of the year by a lawbreaker -- even though it was uttered early Jan. 1. A man suspected of ushering in 2007 with some ceremonial shotgun blasts told an officer: “I was just shooting it at the tree, sir. I wasn’t shooting it into the air like everybody else.”

More stupid criminal tricks: Then there was the guy who was asked for his driver’s license by police.

He started to hand it to them, then withdrew it, saying, “That’s not mine -- it belongs to a friend.” His own license was suspended, he explained. Another piece of ID established that he was on probation and thus subject to a search. He then admitted he had an AK-47 (loaded) in his trunk.

It was around this time that the cops said, you know, maybe they’d better have a second look at his friend’s driver’s license. Turned out it belonged to a carjacking victim. The driver and his two occupants confessed to the crime.

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Enforcing lawn order: “And they wonder why the prison system is so crowded,” Chino’s John Fatini wrote of a warning regarding a less violent crime (see photo).

Realtors’ theme park? In New Zealand, Harry Love chanced upon a street where, judging by its name, everything is on the block (see photo).

Unclear on the concept: The very limited warranty for a blender “built to last” caught the eye of Linda Gatons of Hacienda Heights (see accompanying).

Mystery of the day: Charlotte Fournier of Laguna Woods noticed an announcement at a fitness center that seemed to call on members to autograph a fish (see accompanying).

Actually, it was a reminder that the form was salmon-colored.

Not enough pull: The crime log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise reported that some juveniles were allegedly “trying to remove the goal posts from a football field. Juveniles were advised that posts were firmly in the ground and not going anywhere.”

No ambulance-chasing jokes, please: I read in the Downtown News that the law firms of Geragos & Geragos and Kabateck Brown Kellner have purchased the downtown Engine Co. No. 28 building. The structure, which now houses a restaurant on the ground floor, was once a fire station.

miscelLAny: The LAPD’s Thin Blue Line says that the original uniforms of L.A.'s cops, circa 1870, were Army surplus -- “Civil War Union Blues.” Interesting, inasmuch as L.A. was considered a pro-Confederacy city. In the 1860 presidential election, Abraham Lincoln finished third in the voting in L.A. -- with 179 votes. Abe won anyway.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.


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