He’s at no loss to fill this roster

The Philadelphia Phillies are moving toward an ignominious milestone, the 10,000th loss in franchise history.

To properly recognize the impending lowlight, longtime Philadelphia Daily News columnist Bill Conlin thought “a salute” to the “All-Time Worst Phillies Team” was just the ticket.

Conlin’s “All-Time No-Stars” included players who graced the Phillies’ roster from 1943 to the present.

Jeff Stone, who played in 1983-87, won the nod in left field for his performance and quotable nature.

“He stole 123 bases one season in Class A. But he had the baseball instincts of a manhole cover and threw like the Venus d’Milo,” Conlin wrote. “Jeff called the location of the leg miseries that plagued him “my groan.” When a waitress asked if he wanted a shrimp cocktail, he replied, “No, thanks, I don’t drink.” Watching a full moon rising over the beach at Waikiki, he asked a minor league teammate, “Is that the same moon I see in Missouri?”

Left-handed starting pitcher Kyle Abbott also made Conlin’s cut. The former No. 1 draft pick by the Angels from Long Beach State was 1-14 in 19 starts for the Phillies in 1992.

Trivia time

When was the last time that teams with identical regular-season records met in the NBA Finals?

Idol worship

Carolina Panthers offensive lineman Jordan Gross will be in Los Angeles this week to help cover the grand finale of this season’s “American Idol” for a Charlotte, N.C., television affiliate.

Gross is an avid fan of the show and has written about the season on the NFL team’s website.

“It’s going to be awesome,” Gross told the Charlotte Observer. “It’s not as big as the Super Bowl, but it’s kind of like going to the Super Bowl.”

Idol finalists Jordin Sparks, the daughter of former NFL cornerback Phillipi Sparks, and Blake Lewis will battle it out Tuesday and Wednesday.

“I’ve said from the beginning that Blake Lewis is my guy,” Gross said. “I like that Blake brings something original to the table every week.”

Zagat-rated

Jarvis Green, a defensive end for the New England Patriots, spent part of the off-season interning at a Rhode Island restaurant with hopes of putting what he learned to use when he opens a sports bar in his Louisiana hometown.

Michael Degnan, owner of Prime and Oyster Bar, told the Boston Herald that Green wanted to study all aspects of the business.

But Degnan took some precautions with the 6-foot-3, 285-pound Green in the kitchen.

“We kept him away from the fryolators,” Degnan said. “We didn’t want him getting hurt. His hands and legs are a lot more valuable than my USDA prime steaks.”

Gas, food and strikeouts

Tim Lincecum, the San Francisco Giants’ baby-faced rookie right-hander, impressed in his last start when he struck out seven of the first 11 Houston Astros.

“It occurred that maybe we could call him Minimart,” wrote Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle. “That name would also fit because tiny Tim, like AM/PM Mini Mart, features too much good stuff.”

Trivia answer

In the 2000-01 season, the Lakers and Philadelphia 76ers each finished the regular season 56-26. The Lakers defeated the 76ers in the Finals, four games to one.

And finally

Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post indicates that the New York Yankees might have to pay a certain 40-something right-hander more than $18 million for his shortened season.

“This just in. Now that the price of stamps has risen two cents, Roger Clemens’ agent wants to renegotiate.”

gary.klein@latimes.com