It’s back to giving the Dodgers the third degree

I had so much to do Monday, so many Dodgers to tease.

First, I went online for my good deed of the day, found the All-Star ballot and voted for Wilson Betemit at third base -- so he gets one. They give you the option to vote 25 times for the same guy, but I’ve watched him play.

Then I read the Dodgers’ media notes and learned Frank’s Old Lady is being honored in New York tonight.

Like you, I said out loud, “For what?”

Something called Women’s eNews has identified Frank’s Old Lady as “one of 21 exceptional individuals who make groundbreaking news by confronting issues of particular concern to women.”

Shorter bathroom lines at Dodger Stadium?

“She is being recognized for her efforts to bring more women executives into baseball,” the Dodgers said, so I called the Tipper Gore Lady and asked for a list of all the female executives Frank’s Old Lady has brought into baseball.

“Well, there’s me,” the Tipper Gore Lady said before going silent.

“You still there?” I asked.

“I’m trying to think,” she said, and I gave her until Wednesday to get back to me, since the Ducks need me tonight.

The Dodgers still wanted everyone to know that Jamie McCourt is also being honored for her work with WIN (Women’s Initiative Network), which brings women together to talk. They tell me that’s a good thing.

Ran into Fox Sports’ Michael Eaves, who told me he was going to be playing in the Dodgers Dream Foundation golf tournament. For some unknown reason, I’ve not been invited, even though it’s always been a dream of mine.

Bumped into Jason Schmidt. Yeah, I didn’t remember he was on the team either. A few weeks ago a coach from West Covina e-mailed asking whether Schmidt could meet with a youth player just diagnosed with a Stage 3 brain tumor.

The Dodgers rolled out the red carpet for the family, and Schmidt, who lost his mother to cancer, spent a good deal of time with the youngster who was confined to a wheelchair and wearing a surgical mask. The mask came off, as the youngster insisted, when it came time for smiling pictures to be taken.

WENT TO the clubhouse next to fire up the guys since I’ve been busy with the Lakers, Oscar and Dr. Ryan, and asked Randy Wolf whether he felt “disgraced” after the weekend belly flop in Anaheim? He said something dull, so I didn’t write it down.

Then we talked about the Dodgers’ lack of power and Wolf’s misplaced affection for well-pitched, well-played boring games.

“If Kobe scores 81 and the Lakers lose, everyone goes home chirping about Kobe,” I said. “If he scores 19 and the Lakers win, everyone goes home unhappy they didn’t get to see Kobe at his best.”

Wolf responded that “Steve Nash is more exciting,” and while Russell Martin took the time to tell Wolf he was nuts, Brett Tomko chimed in: “I’d take Shaq over Kobe.”

I reminded Tomko he was already being booed every time he pitched for the Dodgers, but he said, “It can’t get any worse.” If I were a Dodgers fan, I’d take that as a challenge.

Wolf then said, “I really don’t know anything about basketball,” like that was a news flash.

Brad Penny butted in to ask who I liked to win the game, pointing to the Boston-New York contest on TV. “It’s the only game that anyone cares about,” he said.

I told him my heart was with the Dodgers and the Brewers, and it’s probably not a good sign when the local media cares more about a Dodgers game than the players.

I moved over to Jeff Kent. On the morning radio show I had asked our baseball expert, Mark Gubicza -- hey, we have a limited budget -- whom I should rip after the Dodgers’ poor performance against the Angels. Gooby suggested Kent, and then hopped a plane for Detroit.

Frankly, I was appalled to hear someone be so critical of one of our local guys, but I told Kent what Gooby said. I’m not so sure Detroit is far enough away. Kent growled, and then I asked him about being disgraced against the Angels, and he said, “Go jump in the lake.”

I got the feeling he was still thinking about Gooby, Detroit and that big lake they have there.

“Disgraced?” he said, while adding something about the doctor not cutting enough of my head off. “You come at me with that kind of stuff and I’ll give you cancer of the butt.” Ah, it was good to be back.

I ASKED Luis Gonzalez whether he had ever been so disgraced as this past weekend, losing to the better team in L.A.

“I’m not going to answer. I don’t have to answer. Write whatever you want,” Gonzalez said, and you would’ve thought I was asking the guy if he had ever used steroids.

“This game is all about failure,” Gonzalez continued, and for a guy that wasn’t going to answer, didn’t need to answer, now there was no shutting him up. “You stay for nine innings for regular-season games? You stay nine innings for playoff games?”

I stay nine innings for playoff games because I’m a fan of history and there’s always a chance the Dodgers just might get that second playoff win since 1988. I believe.

“I know your reputation,” Gonzalez said, and I guess I better start carrying some gold stars with me. “Why don’t you bring your daughter out here. I like your daughter better.” So does her mother.

OBVIOUSLY I know something now about getting under people’s skin, so no surprise that Kent and Gonzalez went out and hit home runs.

But I forgot who was pitching, and the fans were letting Tomko have it, and it was only 7:32 p.m. By 8:43 he was gone, and the Dodgers were losing, 8-0. Just disgraceful.

Kent and Gonzalez fought back, but it looks as if I’m going to have to spend a lot more time with the Dodgers if they want to win another game this season.

That ought to fire up the guys.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at

t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.