She had her wits about her and she wasn’t afraid to show it
Westside dentist Dale Cooper has a patient whose 80ish mother fell down, and when paramedics arrived, they asked her a few questions to assess her condition. She correctly told them her name and what day of the week it was. But when she was asked who the president is, she paused. Finally, she said, “I can’t remember his name, but I didn’t vote for him.”
She was pronounced in good condition.
Time to send out the overdue notices: Did you read where the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library is unable to find or account for more than 80,000 of its 100,000 artifacts? One archivist was fired after being accused of stealing from the library.
Thank goodness no one made off with Air Force One (see photo).
Unless they pulled the old switcheroo. How do we know that the aircraft on display is the real Air Force One, anyway?
Not only do we get no Leno jokes about the Reagan library . . . But local TV is feeling the effect of the writers’ strike in other ways, points out Steve Durgin (see photo).
Another Leno favorite: Listening to radio coverage of the preliminary hearing for O.J. Simpson in Las Vegas, I couldn’t help but think of all the TV sets that were tuned to Simpson’s murder trial a decade ago -- except at Critters bar in Hermosa Beach (see photo).
Journalistic leaks: USC graduate student Kimberly Cunningham won the $5,000 Art Buchwald Scholarship for Humorous Writing, an offbeat award that the late columnist established for someone who is “anti-establishment and contemptuous of the scholarship he or she is receiving.”
Cunningham’s amusing piece, “The Starbucks Drip,” begins this way:
“Here’s what really gets me: when coffee spills, or more specifically, when the little molecules of brown, pungent liquid seep from underneath the plastic white lid and drip, drip, drip all over my clothes. . . . “
“And there’s nothing I can do about it. I can go into the bathroom, put water on the stain and try to get it out. But then I’m left with a huge wet mark on my pants, usually in the crotch area, or my blouse, usually in the boob area, and for the rest of the day, everyone thinks I’m either lactating or suffering from bladder-control issues.”
Cunningham, let me tell you: The spillage problem only gets worse. Wait until you move into the soup-spillage stage, as I have.
miscelLAny: Leno did deliver some fresh material at the picket lines. He said he brought doughnuts and coffee to the revolting writers because he was afraid they would slim down and begin to feel good about themselves.
“I need them fat and neurotic so they can write jokes,” he explained.
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com