Candor and compassion

Re “It is time for Dad to die,” Opinion, Nov. 30

Please convey my condolences to Diana Wagman. Also please convey my condolences to her father, if possible. It is terrible to face the death of one’s father and at the same time wish him to die. It is equally terrible to face death and know one’s daughter wishes you to die.

If we are very fortunate, we come to the place in our hearts where we know illness, disability or even imminent death is about the person experiencing it and not ourselves. It is then that we can love people where they are, as they are. Only then are any of us at peace.

Lynn Rogers-Lent

Portland, Ore.

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Wagman’s candor is refreshing. Many people think keeping someone alive is a way of expressing love. She knows this is what her father would not want. Letting him out of a life he would never want would be her expression of love.

Hospital ethics committees constantly have to struggle with following a patient’s express wishes when the family is in disagreement. It is so important to discuss your wishes with your family, including how you feel about disconnecting artificial food and hydration. Courts have ruled that this is part of medical treatment and can be refused.

Wagman’s sister and husband are right: It is disrespecting her father’s wishes to prolong his dying. Though we need expanded laws in this country to respect people’s wishes at the end of life, this issue is settled law.

Faye J. Girsh

La Jolla