When it comes to doling out gold statuettes, the Academy Awards could take a lesson from Britain's equivalent film honors, which aired on BBC America Sunday. Elegant, witty and devoid of fake banter between mismatched stars and self-indulgent speeches, it clocked in at a streamlined two and a half hours. God save the stiff upper lip!
The tough-guy star of "The French Connection" and "Jaws" never got the acclaim he deserved. He should have won the Oscar for embodying Bob Fosse so razzle-dazzlingly in "All That Jazz" (do yourself a favor and rent it). Scheider died Feb. 10. Heaven's going to need a bigger boat.
L.A. VIE L'ORANGE
The chic nail salon hidden off North Robertson Boulevard ( 289-2501) is one of L.A.'s sure things: We've never received less than perfect results. Pricier than your chain salon, it also required a time commitment: The basic manicure lasts an hour. For those of us with a life, however, there's now a $24 half-hour option.
CHRIS BURDEN BCAM INSTALLATION
The latest bank-breaking acquisition by LACMA: Artist Chris Burden's collection of gray street lamps placed along Wilshire Boulevard. Isn't Wilshire already lined with lampposts, you ask? But these are gray lampposts artily clumped together, you neophyte aesthete!
K-Earth 101 (KRTH)
We've been accused of being snarky trendsters and yet we have a deep love for what snarky trendsters call "oldies." There are 87 kajillion songs that fall into that category, and yet L.A.'s one "oldies" station appears to own only five. Here's a request: How about giving "Light My Fire" a rest and dusting off something that hasn't been played to death (the Kink's "Waterloo Sunset," Billy Preston's "Nothing From Nothing")?
Nothing harshes the healthy mellow of a delicious organic salad like the death dagger glances from your waitress when you timidly ask for a glass of wine or another napkin. Seriously, if you're going to be a hippie restaurant, more Gaia and less grumbling from your staff, please.