It feels like home to Asbury
They came out in force Wednesday to welcome Tom Asbury back to Pepperdine. The boosters who have grown scarce in recent years were there, along with one of the maintenance men and the former university president who hired Asbury the first time.
The campus locksmith, Johnny Jones, came to see him, too, recalling how Asbury once tossed him out of his office for trying to tell him how to coach.
And in mid-speech, Asbury caught a glimpse of a photographer wearing a nearly 20-year-old sweatshirt.
“I see Martin Folb has got my basketball camp shirt on,” Asbury said. “We’re ready to roll.”
The only thing Asbury, 62, would have changed about the news conference for his return to the school he left in 1994 was the way the room was set up.
The last time, he was facing the ocean.
“I was here 15 years, and I said, ‘When I stop noticing the beauty of it, it’s probably time to look for something else,’ That became kind of a metaphor,” he said.
Anyone could understand how beauty escaped Asbury and his wife, Carlie, after 1993, when their oldest daughter, Stacey, succumbed to the ravages of anorexia at 22.
The Asburys and their younger daughter, Megan, left for Kansas State the next year, with Asbury restless for a challenge after dominating the West Coast Conference much of his nine years as an assistant and six years as head coach, running off 38 consecutive league victories at one point.
“It was time for a change,” Asbury said. “We didn’t leave because we were running from anything.”
When he and Carlie returned this week, family memories of Stacey came back too.
“She was a student here. The cemetery is out in Thousand Oaks. Those are difficult, but there are also good memories,” Asbury said. “It works both ways. You don’t want to forget her.”
The Asburys left after the harshest blow of their lives. They have returned after surviving another.
Two years ago, Carlie was diagnosed with mesothelioma, a form of cancer caused by asbestos exposure.
“March 27, 2006,” she said, looking lovely and well at the news conference, her cancer now in remission. “I went through some pretty brutal surgery, chemotherapy, radiation. I had a whole lung removed.”
Her husband, an assistant at Alabama after his stint at Kansas State, told administrators there last season would be his last.
“I said, ‘I can’t do this next year. I can’t leave her,’ ” he said. “To be honest, six months ago I wouldn’t have taken this job. Every other coaching job I’ve taken, it’s basically been my decision. This was really a team decision.”
The last six months have brought dramatic improvement, and Carlie has to see her Houston doctor only once every six months.
“I said, ‘Do you feel comfortable? Do you feel energetic? Do you feel good enough?’ ” her husband said. “She can never be normal, not cardiovascularly, but mentally she’s doing great.
“And she does look great,” he said, looking toward her.
“I think if our players could exhibit the kind of strength and courage and toughness that she has in the last couple of years, we’ll be just fine,” he said during the news conference.
The night before, the couple strolled around campus, walking into an empty Firestone Fieldhouse and past the pool.
“Oh my God, my memories all kind of go together,” Carlie said. “But I can remember the years we were winning championships, they threw Tom in the pool.
“I remember that because it ruined his suit. But that tells you what a great time it was, how exciting it was.
“You talk about coming full circle. Many people have asked us, moving around, ‘What is really home to you guys?’ And it has always been here. It always has. We raised a family here and spent 15 years here.”
Their daughter Megan, now 33, lives in Phoenix and works as a wedding coordinator at a hotel. The Asburys will leave behind their newly built home in Tucson for as long as Tom decides to coach -- three, four, five years, maybe longer, he said.
The couple, after living in Newbury Park before, will live on campus.
“For me, not living on campus before. I’m here to enjoy all that,” Carlie said.
“Tom may lose a little of looking out on the ocean, but I’m going to have my cup of coffee in the morning and look at it.”
There’s a slogan for beachgoers about never turning your back on the ocean. The Asburys plan to keep their eyes on it, and not because they’ve seen more than their share of rogue waves.
“It feels like coming home,” she said.
“It really does.”
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