A ring tone could lead to a ring
I knew I was serious about the relationship when I actually spent time searching for the perfect ring tone.
I had been dating a young woman for more than six months, which means she had graduated from general ring tone status. In cellphone-speak, the general ring tone -- whether it’s one that comes standard with the phone or some polyphonic pop hit of the moment -- gets assigned to “everyone else,” the majority of contacts whose calls don’t matter as much.
But a select few get to sit behind the rope in the VIP section of specialty ring tones. Typically, these slots are reserved for the more significant individuals, such as close relatives and old cronies from college. The actual song is less important than the meaning or memory behind it. For example, whenever my dad calls, the Darth Vader theme blares from Sanyo speakers. It’s not that we have a dark-sided relationship but the contrary: It means I care when he calls. So after passing the six-month mark with a particular flame, I was holding up the rope for her to step into the specialty ring tone zone.
I started my search with sites such as 3GUpload (now called Myxer) and 3GForFree. I spent hours clicking and scrolling through various categories such as R&B;, hip-hop, theme songs and rock. The quest became addicting. I would search at work and while I was driving. I lost sleep over it. I had to find a song that could sum up my sentiments in seconds.
But, I would learn, picking the perfect ring tone is not as simple as it sounds. It is a meticulous process, not unlike finding the right song for a newlywed couple’s first dance or a tribute tune for the dearly departed at a funeral. It takes time and patience, some pain and sometimes money. You’re trying to find the blend of melody, lyrics and emotion that encapsulates the relationship. Do you choose a slow jam, a jingle, a Top 40 hit or “your song”? And if you get sick of the song you pick, is that a subconscious signal that you’re sick of your mate? I didn’t know where to begin.
With the Internet, the options are infinite. On answerbag.com, an anonymous user asked the question: What ring tone do you hear when your significant other calls you on your cellphone? The responses varied from the “Law and Order: SVU” theme song and “Suffocate” by J. Holiday to “You Are the Music in Me” from “High School Musical 2.”
I asked my youngest brother, T.J., a teenage ring tone aficionado who had been dating his girlfriend for a year. He said he knew he wanted to have “This I Swear” by Tyrone Davis playing when his girl called. He couldn’t find it in any ring tone site libraries so he uploaded it himself.
“I try to pick a song that tells a story about the relationship,” he told me.
So, after months of searching, I finally settled on the Luther Vandross version of “If This World Were Mine,” a song my lady and I danced to the day I asked her out. In December, I asked her to marry me.
Assigning a ring tone is a statement much like a proposal that says, “This person is special to me.”
Although it might be a few stages away from an engagement, it is perhaps one step closer to meeting the mother of your significant other. But that’s a whole different kind of ringing in your ear.
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