Fourth and long for American football

As the NFL plays again in London, it’s time to reveal the Top Three Complaints About American Football Heard or Overheard During Three Years in the United Kingdom:

3. “There are too many statistics.” If you think about it, soccer boasts a liberty from studying a game’s statistics, freeing up more time for worthy pursuits such as, you know, going to pubs.

2. “They’re wearing too much equipment.” It’s curious to ponder what it might say about our national character that our real national pastime features such limited view of actual humanity.

1. (In a landslide.) “Too many breaks in the action.” True, if you spend enough time watching soccer, then watch American football once more, you can end up annoyed at all the halts.