Husband’s past loves not as advertised

Dear Amy: Seven years ago, when my then boyfriend was dating me, he “confessed” that he had intimate relationships with three women before dating me.

And I took him at his word.

We have been married for two years. Recently when I cleaned the basement, I came across many love letters written by his ex-girlfriends. These letters detailed his sexual activities.

Based on these letters, my husband slept with way more than three women.

I understand what happened was before my time, but I don’t understand why he was not telling me the truth in the beginning of our relationship.

Hurt

Dear Hurt: The reason your husband lied about sex is because people lie about sex.

I imagine that his motive was to portray himself as the kind of potential partner he felt you wanted to have. Take this issue to your husband and ask him to talk to you about it.

Make sure you do this when you are calm and can have a thoughtful conversation.

Give him an opportunity to tell you if there is anything else hiding in his figurative basement you should know about.

You should also answer truthfully any questions your husband might have for you.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by e-mail to askamy@tribune.com.