Gilbert Arenas’ punishment fits the crime

There’s hope for the rest of us

In the good news for Gilbert Arenas, at least they didn’t send him to Alcatraz to bunk with Al Capone.

Actually, Alcatraz is part of a national park, Capone is dead and the big guy wouldn’t have taken anyone who was in for not licensing unloaded pistols seriously, anyway.

The judge set aside a request for three months in jail by the crusading D.A. — who let teammate Javaris Crittenton off with a misdemeanor — instead suspending Arenas’ sentence with 30 days in a halfway house.

The family of the late Wizards owner, which had decried Arenas for offending “the legacy of Abe Pollin” reacted coolly but isn’t expected to try to void Gilbert’s contract — because it’s about to sell the team.

Actually, if trying to void the contract wasn’t a guaranteed loser, I’d still have loved to hire out to Arenas’ defense team on a contingency basis, as an expert on farces, for 1% of what they billed.

It was a simple illegal possession case until the New York Post blew it up into the Gunfight at the OK Corral.

Commissioner David Stern, who would have had to decide whether to adjudicate according to the facts or the uproar over the incorrect Post story, then chose the latter after the irrepressible Arenas pretended to shoot laughing teammates in pregame introductions.

Noting he has no history of violence — and mercifully omitting his history of kookiness — the judge pointed out Arenas’ pistols were licensed in Virginia and there was no indication they were loaded.

Not that waving unloaded guns is anything but idiotic, but in good news for the NBA and a lot of the rest of us, they still don’t lock you up just for being a goofball.

Darned if they do, and if they don’t

Washington Coach Flip Saunders benched supposed new hope Andray Blatche, who’s averaging 20 points this month, if in losing efforts, for blowing off the coaches.... Said Saunders: “I’m more disappointed in him than I’ve ever been with a player in my coaching career.” ...

Then after meeting with GM Ernie Grunfeld, Saunders started Blatche the next night, prompting howls they’re “pushovers” (Yahoo) and “enablers” ( Washington Post.) ...

So after dumping Antawn Jamison, Caron Butler and Brendan Haywood, this is what’s left, a bigger Tim Thomas, 6-11, 250 pounds worth of three-point-arc-hugging bad attitude.

Speaking of bad attitudes

Darko Milicic, who vowed to return to Europe (assuming it will have him) after seven vacuous seasons, says he’ll stay in Minnesota, where he has looked good — for him, if in losing efforts — if he’s assured he’ll start.... Not to be a skeptic, but this couldn’t be a salary drive, could it?

He’s the guy

With Trail Blazers sources trashing martyred, still-serving GM Kevin Pritchard, and Pritchard sources trashing owner Paul Allen and his killer dweebs from Vulcan Corp., they either split because of Pritchard’s big ego and mouth (OK, they have a point), or because Pritchard stood up to the Vulcans, whose bright idea it was to warn teams not to sign Darius Miles (OK, they have a point).... Pritchard clung to his job, noting, “I don’t think I’m the person to answer [the question of whether he’s in trouble].”... This just in: You are.

— Mark Heisler