Army Staff Sgt. David H. Gutierrez, 35, San Jose; killed in explosion

The Army chaplains came to Patty Gutierrez’s door during Christmas breakfast with the news about her husband.

Five months later, the pain and longing are undiminished.

“I miss you more than words can explain,” Patty Gutierrez wrote May 2 on the Facebook page she created in memory of her husband, David, the father of her three boys. “Feeling guilty about being excited to move back to the Bay Area, I wouldn’t be if you were still here. Just wish we could of taken this journey together. I will always love you Honey.”

David H. Gutierrez, a 35-year-old Army staff sergeant from San Jose, died Dec. 25 at Kandahar Air Field, Afghanistan, of injuries suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near him in the village of Howz-e Madad, southwest of Kabul.

“Always on my mind,” Patty wrote May 9. “I love you Honey … always!”

May 22: “You would be coming home in 45 days. I am starting to feel the anger now. Not a jog, therapy, or prayer is going to stop how I feel. I am bitter and that’s just how it is. But, I probably always will be.”

Gutierrez was a big happy barrel of a man. He played as a fullback on an amateur football team near Ft. Lewis, Wash., where he was stationed before his deployment in July. Patty was the team photographer, and their three boys loved to help out on the sidelines.

“He just absolutely loved his family,” said his coach, Steve Matychowiak. “The last season we played I said, ‘You know, Gutie, you inspire me. You’ve been with your wife for 13 years, and you’re so crazy about her still.’ ”

Patty Gutierrez, 37, first met David when he was a bouncer at a sports bar in San Jose, where she often went with her best friend.

“He kept me waiting out in the cold asking for my ID,” she said. “He was being a total jerk about it. I didn’t like him at all.”

One night, she said, “I was sitting at the table with my friends, and one spilled water everywhere. We were getting water all over us. David was walking by with a stack of napkins. I said, ‘Excuse me, excuse me, can we get some napkins?’ He gave me one napkin.”

Later, he would make amends for what turned out to be poor attempts at flirting.

“Let’s start over,” he said. “My name is Dave.”

Once she stopped disliking him, Patty said, she grew to love his sense of humor. They dated two months and got married Dec. 28, 1996.

Gutierrez was going to community college in San Jose, but dropped out in 1998 to enlist.

He was deployed to Korea in 2000 and 2001, then to Iraq from January 2004 to February 2005. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 1st Infantry Regiment, 5th Brigade, 2nd Infantry Division at Ft. Lewis in October 2006.

“Whenever I had a bad day, he would put his arms around me, and that was it,” Patty said. “Or if I was angry, he’d say something absurd that would make me laugh. He was the icebreaker.”

Gutierrez deployed to Afghanistan in July.

He tried to talk to Patty and their sons — Gabriel, 4; Jeremiah, 6; and Andrew, 12 — every day on a webcam. They last spoke on Christmas Eve. Patty was wrapping the presents so he could see what they bought for the boys.

On the other side of the world, Gutierrez was getting ready to go on patrol.

“I love you Honey, always always always,” Patty wrote Feb. 6. “You are forever my Hero! I miss you everyday and I am so very proud to be your Wife. Rest in eternal peace my love.”

joe.mozingo@latimes.com