Final arguments heard in the Dodgers trial, and here in sports it is all about wins and losses.
Both sides are so bad, though, it’s a shame somebody has to win.
But I declare Jamie victorious, so long as Judge Scott Gordon doesn’t blow it on some mumbo-jumbo legal technicality.
That puts Dodgers fans a day closer to Frank posting a “For Sale” sign in front of the stadium.
Sure, it could be another 90 days before the judge officially invalidates the marital agreement between Frank & Jamie. It could also be months before the Raiders are officially eliminated from Super Bowl contention.
But we know right now, don’t we?
Frank’s lawyers successfully drove home the point that Jamie is just not credible. Jamie’s lawyers successfully drove home the point that Frank is just not credible. They’ve got that right.
So the judge probably plays Solomon and splits the nest egg in half. Unless he blows it.
Frank will appeal. We know he will spend more money on lawyers. We don’t know if he will do the same on his baseball team.
If the courtroom losses pile up, he will have to pay off the love of his life. And Frank probably doesn’t have enough money to make Jamie go away unless he sells the Dodgers.
In the meantime, who knows the price to be paid by fans?
Frank’s attorney, Stephen Susman says, “I don’t think the divorce has had any effect on the team.”
That’s inspiring. The Dodgers apparently just stink.
Wait until they suffer because Frank doesn’t have the money to make them any better. How bad will they be then?
If Dodgers fans could afford to take a day off or the entire 11 days it took for this trial, they might never buy a ticket again from these people. They did not distinguish themselves.
Frank’s lawyer got it in on the record last week that Jamie had an affair even though California is a no-fault state. Her lawyers revealed in documents that Frank had two of their sons on the payroll even though they weren’t working for the team. Sounds like the pilot for “Modern Family.”
If Jamie wins, does Frank work harder on his appeal or improving the Dodgers?
What if the judge does blow it? Will the Dodgers’ faithful forgive and forget? Will Frank give them more than Andre Ethier, who flattened out, Matt Kemp, who doesn’t like Dodgers fans and Clayton Kershaw, who pitches once every five days?
Jamie is the one with personality. She can say she’s the face of the Dodgers and later laugh about it when ridiculed.
Early in the trial she has a Starbucks cup in front of her with “Jeff’s” name across it. Her bodyguard. She sits for final arguments with Page 2’s name written on her cup.
Jamie, by the way, is wearing a black jacket atop a black skirt with the Christian Louboutin telltale red soles beneath black pumps that go for $600-plus. We in the courtroom business just know these things.
Frank is losing it, and I don’t mean the case. Most people are a forgiving lot. But it takes some humility, sincerity and probably a winning team to rebound. Frank doesn’t have a whole lot of that going for him these days.
Tell me that’s not Frank McCourt coaching our old team the Rams when you look at Steve Spagnuolo.
Maybe that explains why it seems like he’s been in hiding for months. He certainly hasn’t had much to do with the Dodgers. When the trial started, the Dodgers were still alive, but then it’s been a long time since he acted like an owner.
The Dodgers are playing the Rockies on Wednesday afternoon and Frank is listening intently to a transmutation argument. Just what does winning pitcher Ramon Troncoso have to do to get his attention?
It’s so strange to spend all day in a courtroom for a sports story, two adults who slept together for decades trying to ignore each other. I skipped a Clippers practice for this.
The judge has read every document given to him and sat through 10 days of testimony — most of it a rehash of what is in those documents.
The lawyers must think he’s really dense, because now they are reminding him in closing arguments of what was said the past 10 days.
Frank’s lawyer, Susman, slobbers so much over the judge he has to pull out a handkerchief to wipe off his face.
Then Susman calls on Sorrell Trope, a family law institution and the closest thing to Matlock we have in these parts. The judge is all smiles because he obviously loves Matlock.
Matlock talks about a dog, gets all philosophical and tells the judge, “I know a lot about you by looking at your eyes.”
I wonder if the name Vladimir Shpunt, the spiritual healer the McCourts hired, crosses the judge’s mind. He’s smiling.
Jamie’s lawyer hands the judge 27 pages of bulletin points to start his closing argument. He reads them all to the judge, page by page. The whole thing has a “Sesame Street” feel to it.
Later the judge calls for a recess. He says he has a child custody case he needs to hear.
It’s a jarring reminder of more important things.