Dear Liz: My ex-husband is a self-employed carpenter who just turned 64. He’s gotten a bit over his head with his credit cards. He tried for a home equity loan since he has plenty of equity and high credit scores. His mortgage lender says he doesn’t make enough money and that he needs a co-signer.
He owes only $50,000 on the house and needs about $40,000 to pay off his bills. Why should he be punished for working hard all these years? This is crazy and stupid. Is a reverse mortgage the way to go for him?
Answer: Possibly, but it’s concerning that he has so much credit card debt. Too often people who tap their home equity to pay off debt wind up worse off in a few years. They don’t fix the problem that caused the debt in the first place, so they continue to overspend — but now they have less of a home equity cushion to fall back on in case of emergency.
That’s especially true with a reverse mortgage. These loans allow people 62 and over to borrow against their home equity without having to make payments or repay the loan until they sell, move out or die. However, any amount they borrow and don’t repay will grow over time, typically at a variable interest rate. People who use reverse mortgages to pay off debt early in retirement can wind up unable to access their equity later, when they may need it more.
The lender isn’t trying to punish your ex for working hard, by the way. It’s saying he doesn’t appear to have enough income to pay his mortgage, cover the new loan payments and take care of his other bills. Your ex may think the lender’s standards are too strict, and it’s true many lenders are more reluctant to lend to the self-employed. He may find another lender that’s more cooperative if he shops around. But that huge amount of credit card debt indicates a serious problem that needs fixing, and another loan may not be the answer.
Since your ex feels comfortable sharing financial details with you, you might suggest that he discuss his situation with a credit counselor (the National Foundation for Credit Counseling offers referrals) and with a bankruptcy attorney (the National Assn. of Consumer Bankruptcy Attorneys). Each can assess his situation and offer different potential options he could consider.
Can an executor withhold a copy of a will?
Dear Liz: What rights does a sibling survivor have to get a copy of a mother’s will, if the sibling is not the executor?
Answer: From the way you phrased your question, it sounds as if your sibling is serving as executor of your late mother’s estate and refusing to let you see her will. That’s unfortunate. In many states, the executor is required to give you notice of the probate proceedings, and some states also require that you receive a copy of the will if you’re named in it or the guardian of a minor child who’s a named beneficiary, said Jennifer Sawday, an estate planning attorney in Long Beach.
If you’re not a beneficiary, you could still get a copy if the estate is probated. Probate is the court-supervised process of distributing someone’s estate. Rules vary by state, but small estates may bypass probate or qualify for a streamlined version. If formal probate is required, the case is typically opened in the county where the person died and the will becomes public record. Some county courthouses make records available online, while others require you to show up in person to request a copy of the public record.
If the executor fails to file the will or open a probate case when one is required, you can go to court to force the issue. You’ll want to discuss this option with an attorney.
The rules are different if your mother created a living trust rather than a will. Beneficiaries typically receive copies after the creator’s death, but living trusts are designed to avoid probate and don’t become public documents.
If she didn’t actually have a will or living trust, the laws of your state determine who gets what. Surviving spouses and children are usually first in line.