Here’s everything you need to prepare for Sunday’s Oscars

This year’s Oscars will have no host and, if you believe the pundits, no suspense.

Joaquin Phoenix, Renée Zellweger, Brad Pitt and Laura Dern accepted trophies five weeks ago at the Golden Globes ... and at the SAG Awards two weeks later ... and at the British Academy Film Awards last weekend. And as practice makes perfect, they’re really honing their craft!

Welcome to the Gold Standard, the newsletter from the Los Angeles Times that helps guide you through the ins and outs of the awards season leading up to the Oscars.

I’m Glenn Whipp, The Times’ awards columnist and your newsletter host.

My final Oscar predictions for all 24 categories

Brad Pitt will make us laugh. Joaquin Phoenix will make us nervous. And “Little Women” will win exactly one Oscar, costume design, richly deserved, don’t get me wrong, but, wow, that’s it?

I combed through all 24 Oscar categories, agonized over a few decisions (you have not lived until you’ve tried to parse how the two sound categories might play out) and finally landed on my choices. Whether you’re entering an Oscar pool or you’re the second cousin of a nominated makeup artist or just a curious moviegoer, here they are and may God have mercy on us all.

How I learned to stop worrying and ... ahem ... love the Oscars’ best picture choice

You know, it’s been a long time since my favorite movie of the year won the Oscar for best picture. Maybe not all the way back to “The Godfather,” as I note with imprecise clarity in a recent column. But close. What does that mean for “Parasite” at the Oscars on Sunday? My love has probably tainted its chances. Take my tears and that’s not nearly all.

Follow our Oscars coverage

My colleagues at The Times have written so many excellent stories, ranging from culture writer Carolina A. Miranda’s look at how the architecture in this year’s best picture nominees examine inequity to reporter Ryan Faughnder’s look at one area where women are connecting with academy voters — eight of the nine best-picture-nominated films have at least one credited female producer. That’s a record.

We’ll be churning out stories this weekend through Sunday’s ceremony as fast as you can read them. Simply go to latimes.com/oscars to keep up.