SCENIAC: Casting the future of ‘Star Trek’

According to a skinny blond lady with heavy eye makeup, the open casting call Saturday in Burbank was for a movie called “Corporate Headquarters.”

But for some reason, TMZ was there, as was Channel 2 news -- not to mention a line around the block of “Star Trek” fans and the to-be-expected crowd of “just-moved-to-L.A.” aspiring actors waiting to get into the relatively small offices of Hollywood OS on Magnolia Boulevard.

It took a quick phone call to my home-bound husband to figure out that “Corporate Headquarters” is a code name for J.J. Abrams’ new “Star Trek” film currently in pre-production. But the call turned out to be a waste of cell minutes because five minutes later an accomplice of the heavily eye-shadowed blond lady came clicking up to me in high heels to say she’d cut me a break.

“ ‘Corporate Headquarters’ is a secret name for the Star Trek movie,” she said conspiratorially. “You know how Hollywood is. Everything is very hush hush.”

Oh, really?

The same lady also noted that a “big-time director” was working on the film and that it was a prequel to the first “Star Trek” television show. (Thanks for the exclusive info!)

We were there thanks to a casting call breakdown, posted on several “Star Trek” websites, indicating that casting directors were looking for males and females ages 18 to 70 -- of any ethnicity -- to play cadets.

Specifically, they were hoping to get “fresh-faced military types … regal talent with BROWN or BLACK hair AND are OK with their eyebrows being shaved from the arch outward to portray a Vulcan-type eyebrow shape.”

(Why did I ever doubt myself? What kind of “Coporate Headquarters” film would need to give extras Vulcan eyebrows?)

Unusual looking people were also encouraged to come: “Talent with interesting and unique facial features such as long necks, small heads, extremely large heads, wide-set eyes, bug eyes, close-set eyes, large forehead, short upper lip, pronounced cheekbones, over- or undersized ears and/or nose, facial deformities, ultra plain-looking people, ultra perfect-looking people, pure wholesome looks, twins, triplets, emaciated talent.”

Disappointingly, we didn’t see too many who fit any of the above descriptions, although a man who looked a bit like an albino Christopher Walken (and who claimed he was Walken’s son, flashing a photo of the two of them together to prove it) had different color eyes, if that counts.

For the record: I’m pretty sure he wasn’t Walken’s son, but it’s a neat party trick.

Women were asked to pull their hair back in a severe ponytail and not to wear heavy makeup. The breakdown also mentioned that everyone must be thin, athletic and fit.