Clive, we hardly knew you.
Seriously, Det. Babineaux, we’ve had so little information about your life outside the Seattle Police Department squad room, your background, your turn ons ... though we did find out recently that you’d rather be beaten to a pulp than sit through a magic show. (Ditto to that!)
Now, thanks to the “iZombie” episode dubbed “The Hurt Stalker,” loyal fans have learned that you’re a Renaissance man -- playing piano, cooking Cajun food, jonesing for another George R. R. Martin book.
Now that wasn’t so tough, was it?
Sure, it may’ve been a little embarrassing to admit that you fell for a “badge bunny” who wanted you to wear your holster in the bedroom and turned out to be an obsessive stalker. But chemistry is a weird thing. We don’t judge you. That Regina Sumner was a lovely gal, or so it seemed at first.
But she was having affairs with multiple cops and threatening to ruin their lives until someone, working with an accomplice, put a stop to her madness. Even though we’re just scratching the surface of who you are, Clive, we’re fairly sure you’re not a murderer. You don’t fit the profile.
But being that you’re under a cloud of suspicion, it’s a good thing that Liv Moore (Rose McIver) and Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti (Rahul Kohli) take on the challenge of proving your innocence and finding the real killer in this hour.
“The Hurt Stalker” is filled with secrets and lies, consistent with the through-line of this dram-rom-zom-com, in addition to stress tests on the undead and too much information for a few characters, as in the what-you-do-know-can-hurt-you variety.
So, on to the specifics of the episode, which has Vaughn Du Clark (Steven Weber) raging out on Super Max and his daughter, Gilda the Duplicitous (Leanne Lapp), possibly laying a trap for Major Lilywhite (Robert Buckley). She really doesn’t like to be dissed.
Liv and Ravi pair up, even pretending to be betrothed at one point, to find the killer du jour who attacked Regina, the delusional wedding planner, in a parking garage.
Unfortunately for Clive (Malcolm Goodwin), he had briefly dated the victim and had very recently told her to stop bothering him “or else.” She’s found dead on the pavement and he can’t come up with an alibi. What’s worse? His 9-millimeter Beretta turns up at the crime scene. (She’d stolen it from Clive as a memento).
Liv eats Regina’s brains, on celery sticks with peanut butter (colorful!), and promptly goes “Fatal Attraction” on Major, trolling his social media and scouring his cellphone.
Her incessant snooping nearly exposes two whopping secrets: the identity of Major’s fling (Gilda, also known as Rita) and his night job (hunting zombies for Max Rager). That was close on both accounts, but how much longer can these bodies stay buried, so to speak?
Liv and Ravi pull at the threads of Regina’s frayed life and discover she’s a serial stalker with a scrapbooking fetish. The victim had created a fantasy version of marital bliss, with an assist from Photoshop, with three local cops, including the chief of police.
The new wife of another of those men, a woman named Uma Voss, snaps as a result. She and her brother mean only to scare Regina away and recover a stolen heirloom engagement ring. But the fight gets out of hand, and Uma shoots Regina to protect her brother.
There’s a detour along the way to cracking this case, and it involves Liv spending a weekend in jail for breaking into the top cop’s car. She does find some key evidence during that burglary, and then she nearly starves behind bars. Not sure what larger purpose these scenes serve, but Liv looks fetching in jailhouse red.
Meantime, experimentation continues on some poor captive zombie in the basement lab at Max Rager. There’s a revolving door of scientist/doctors involved, which Gilda likens to “drummers for Spinal Tap,” and the latest one reports that the Super Max energy drink triggers a super-powered response. That’s not a walking dead, it’s a sprinting dead, even with the treadmill on steep incline. Now if they only had a human test subject.
Gilda, who has embedded herself into Liv’s home life as her roomie, now knows that Liv and Major are back together and she doesn’t like it one bit. First, she’s jealous and spiteful (so say I). Second, she wonders when Liv will find out about Major’s nocturnal zombienappings and leak the information to the authorities.
Vaughn doesn’t seem too concerned, and that’s even before he starts using himself as a guinea pig for Super Max. One thing’s for sure: He’s immediately ripped from drinking that swill. Now it’s probably just a matter of time until he rips someone’s face off while under the influence.
Sounds like he could use one of Clive’s po’ boy sammies to take the edge off, but something tells me he’ll be on a liquid diet for a while.
Check back next week for the return of Blaine DeBeers (David Anders) in the last new episode before the midseason break.