Why Nick Offerman listens to Mother Nature, not Michael Douglas

So Michael Douglas said something about oral sex and cancer. Perhaps you heard about it?

The actor’s comments sparked controversy, not to mention a great deal of panic, but Tuesday on “Conan,” Nick Offerman shared a humorous story that should put us all at ease. Its moral? Just listen to the coyotes.

The “Parks and Recreation” star recalled how when he and his wife, Megan Mullaly, first began dating, Mother Nature seemed to be sending signals that they were meant to be together. It all began late one night when, in the midst of a make-out session in the Hollywood Hills, the couple realized they were being watched by coyotes.

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The lovebirds shrugged it off. “We thought, ‘Oh, well, we’re near Griffith Park,’ ” Offerman said.

Not long after, another amorous interlude was interrupted by a pack of coyotes -- this time in downtown Los Angeles.

But the clearest sign of all came further along in their relationship, during an especially intimate moment at Coldwater Canyon. “This was before I knew it could give you any kind of fatal disease,” he joked. “And I looked up at one point, and I’m dead serious, about 10 feet above [Mullaly’s] head this buck coyote was staring at me and he slowly nodded his head, and then walked off.”

While Offerman interpreted the animals’ repeated appearances as a sign that he and Mullaly were meant to be, Conan O’Brien had his own interpretation. “You know what I’m learning from this? Coyotes are pervs,” he said.

But it was Andy Richter who had the most compelling theory of all: “I think that was Michael Douglas’ spirit animal.”

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