10 wacky foods at the OC Fair: Deep-fried coffee and caviar Twinkies anyone?

Here’s the deal. If you’re on a swimsuit diet, look away. Or maybe just run in the other direction.

Those brave enough to keep reading should prepare themselves for some serious gluttony - and probably find the stretchiest sweatpants possible. We’re about to dig into the new fried food at the Orange County Fair this year, and things are going to get intense.

It’s the fair’s 125th anniversary, so food vendors decided to go bigger than normal. In a world of bacon-wrapped turkey legs, deep-fried candy bars, Krispy Kreme-bun triple cheeseburgers and doughnuts the size of your head, going big means next level. Here are 10 wacky items you can expect at the fair this year. And yes, nine out of the 10 are deep-fried.

Caviar Twinkie: Longtime fair vendor Chicken Charlie’s is selling a $125 Twinkie covered in caviar. The woman working at one of the booths said she hasn’t seen anyone order it yet. But it’s there, if you have the cash to burn, and the stomach for it. Proceeds will benefit the Children’s Hospital of Orange County.

Deep-fried peanut butter-stuffed pickle: Also new at Chicken Charlie’s is the deep-fried peanut-butter stuffed pickle, topped with chocolate sauce. Why someone would stuff a pickle with peanut butter then bread it and deep-fry it is beyond us. But it’s the fair, so we’re not asking questions. It will remind you of eating peanut butter and celery--and drinking salt water at the same time. ($5)

Koolickle: Pickle Pete, also known as Nate Janousek, decided to brine his pickles in a mixture of pickle brine and red cherry Koolaid. He’s calling them Koolickles. If Fun Dip sticks were pickles and you could dip them in cherry Koolaid dust, this is what they’d taste like. ($5)

Deep-fried Starbucks: At Bacon A-Fair, balls of deep-fried dough are stuffed with Starbucks espresso beans and chocolate chips and served in a coffee cup with whipped cream. ($7).

Wasabi bacon bombs: Also at Bacon A-Fair, squares of battered and fried pork are injected with wasabi, then wrapped in bacon. You’re supposed to dip them in a sauce that resembles the eel sauce you’d find at a sushi restaurant. Somehow, it all work ($10).

Deep-fried pizza: At the Mexican Funnel Cake booth, you can treat yourself to a slice of deep-fried pepperoni or cheese pizza. Of course, it comes with a side of ranch dressing. ($7)

Deep-fried birthday cake: If you’re celebrating a birthday, or anything, there’s a slice of deep-fried birthday cake topped with frosting, sprinkles, whipped cream and an unlit candle with your name on it at the Mexican Funnel Cake booth ($7).

Deep-fried apples: For those hoping to keep it healthful at the fair, order the apple fries. Nothing fancy, just deep-fried slices of apple served with whipped cream ($6).

Funnel cake burger: Because a burger on a Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut isn’t enough, this year, at Juicy’s, there’s a burger served with a funnel cake bun, topped with lettuce and tomato. When you take a bite, you will get powdered sugar all over your face, no matter how hard you try not to. ($10.75)

Girl Scout Cookie-inspired Samoa doughnut: For dessert, try a doughnut that looks like a giant Girl Scout cookie. It’s a glazed doughnut topped with caramel, toasted coconut and chocolate sauce. And yes, it tastes like the cookie. ($8.75)

Stretchy pants are my idea of an occupational hazard. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram @Jenn_Harris_