Two Guys Lose Weight: Nutrisystem and ‘South Park’

NOTE: This is a blog about two guys attempting to lose weight over a six-week period. Jimmy Orr is trying Nutrisystem. Tony Pierce is freelancing. They began on Jan. 10.

I found myself saying ‘Hello children’ numerous times in the voice of “South Park’s” Chef; as I pulled out a Nutrisystem Salisbury steak TV dinner on Thursday night.

Chef, as voiced by the late Isaac Hayes, frequently had Salisbury steak on the school lunch menu and would offer to serve it up to the South Park kids right before some disaster would inevitably strike.

After my first day on Nutrisystem, I can say this: I fared better than Kenny (Kenny dies in every “South Park” episode).


I actually feel fine. Toward the end of the day, I wanted more food. Not a lot more. But I’m used to grazing, so this is going to be unavoidable for awhile. It’s just a matter of retraining.

So what’d I eat? Frozen ham and egg omelette for breakfast (although I heated it up). Not bad. Actually pretty tasty. Two thumbs up. Along with that, you’re allowed a ‘dairy or protein’ item, a piece of fruit, and a carbohydrate. I chose yogurt (110 calories), cantalope squares, and a slice of unbuttered toast (so just heated bread).

For the morning snack, I was hoping to see ‘cheesy poofs’ on the menu. Nope. The plan allows another ‘dairy or protein’ item, and a piece of fruit. I chose yogurt again but I see according to my checklist, I forgot the fruit.

For lunch, you’re allowed one Nutrisystem lunch entrée and two vegetables. You can get unlimited amounts of some vegetables so you can really pile it on if you want. I ate out Thursday, so I limited myself to salad and one chicken kabob.

At dinnertime, you get an entrée, fruit or vegetable, two more vegetables, fat-free dressing, one carbohydrate, and a ‘fat.’

I choose a salad for my three vegetables: lettuce (piled to the moon), one cup of grape tomatoes, and one bazillion mushrooms. I had a small dinner roll for my carbohydrate. And I get a fat? How do you know what a fat is?

Their sample menu suggested 1 teaspoon of olive oil. So I drank it down like a shot. Actually, I poured it on my salad along with some fat-free dressing. I added fat to fat-free dressing and the universe stayed intact.

And of course, the touching salute to Chef with my Salisbury steak entrée. It was actually very good. Long live Chef.


These meals coupled with a 70-minute pummeling from trainer Mike (forgot to bring the workout with me or I would share) left me feeling pretty good for the day.

Weigh-in Saturday. Go Steelers and Bears!


Bacon-flavored gum is awful


Sabotaging your friend with Super Burritos

Looking cool (or like a caveman) on Nutrisystem