Letters: What spanking teaches
This post has been corrected. See the note at the bottom for details.
I completely agree that spanking, or any form of physical discipline, should never be employed [“How Kids Feel the Swats of Spanking,” Dec 26]. Hitting (swatting, slapping or any other euphemism for it, “open hand” or not, or even threatening to do so) stops the learning process and replaces it with fear and anger.
As soon as the child is hit, he or she cries. No discussion, no learning. Also, when parents hit their children, they are angry and under the least self-control, which makes Robert Larzelere’s comment of “two swats,” followed by “love for the child afterward” completely unrealistic.
When parents, the children’s protectors, hit them, they violate the sacredness of the child’s physical self and send a message that physical abuse is acceptable.
Parenting is not easy and takes a lot of work. I must have done the right thing by never using physical discipline because I now have two grown, respectful children who know how to handle conflict, peacefully and intellectually, and know that no one is allowed to abuse them.
Susan Fisher
Placentia
::
I am deeply frustrated by Professor Larzelere’s rationalization for hitting children and outraged on behalf of those who will suffer because he provides license to parents who disguise their anger and ineptitude behind the “logic” he offers.
If children learn anything from being struck by an adult, it is fear. They recognize that under certain circumstances it’s OK to take advantage of superior size and strength when choosing to impose their will on others. Our prisons, jails and hospitals overflow with the result.
Perhaps if I were to reason lovingly with Professor Larzelere and then smack him a couple of times I could get him to say he agrees with me, but I doubt it would actually change his behavior, except around me.
Mike Farrell
Studio City
::
I appreciate both the pro and con presentations put forth in the article. Professor Larzelere’s approach of “backup spanking” at least offers guidelines for those who use spanking as a form of discipline.
Perhaps those who condone corporal punishment can think about taking a different perspective in regards to parenting. Spanking, timeouts, withholding privileges and allowing “consequences” are all about power over children.
By showing our children empathy and understanding, we can connect with them and make limits clear without spanking. Through connection, we can help them figure out appropriate ways to get their needs met.
Barbara Schwartz
Lakewood
::
I was a child who was spanked regularly and didn’t get over it for a long time. Spanking teaches a child nothing and is done only because people can get away with it. Adults cannot spank each other (except maybe with permission during sexual activity), and real violence of any sort is considered criminal activity. As such, spanking parents should be arrested.
It’s time we started dealing with children in a more mature way, so that they learn how to be mature as well. I didn’t learn how to behave until I went to Catholic schools and the nuns taught me right from wrong —something my parents never taught me even though they were honorable people in society. Spanking only stops children from doing something bad at the moment. It doesn’t prepare them to be reasonable, mentally healthy members of society.
Rosemary Patterson
Breast-feeding option
Deborah Myers, chief of nutrition services for the LA BioMed WIC Program, writes that breast-feeding is not just a lifestyle choice but “critical for the normal health and development of infants and children” [Letters, Dec. 26]. How demeaning to many thousands of adoptive families, for whom breast-feeding is not an option.
To imply that adopted kids are unlikely to develop normally and contribute to “the well-being of society” is hurtful and shameful.
Paul Bergman
Santa Monica
Eased cancer fear
Thank you for sharing your prostate experience in “Rising PSA Levels? Simmer Down,” Dec. 19. I had an accelerated increase in PSA from 2010 to 2011 and my doctor suggested a follow-up in three months. All I could think about was cancer.
Your description completely eased my mind. I had started weightlifting several months before the latest PSA test to restore my diminishing muscle mass [PSA levels can be affected by such changes]. I am 70 and in excellent health with no family history of prostate cancer. I’ll stay on my annual test cycle.
Bruce Kuebler
Oak View, Calif.
::
I’m a 57-year-old fairly healthy guy. Let me tell you my story about PSA levels and prostate cancer. I am one of the lucky ones.
I started having PSA tests as part of my annual physical years ago. In March 2010, I told the doctor that I was having issues urinating and “performing.” My PSA test came back with a 1.4 reading.
At the time of the discussion, a low PSA equaled “let’s check it every two years and if it increases we’ll go from there.” Well, the symptoms got worse, and I went to see a specialist. It was now October 2010, and another PSA test came up with a reading of almost 7. In December 2010 I had a biopsy and was diagnosed with prostate cancer.
I won’t lie to you, the biopsy is uncomfortable. Of the 12 samples taken from various parts of my prostate, six were confirmed with malignant cancer.
Today’s robotic surgery, which I had in March, offers a greatly reduced recovery time. Sure, I felt like I had been beaten around the waist with a two-by-four and I had seven holes where there were none before, but I was cancer-free.
It’s been nine months since my surgery (I had a nerve-sparing radical prostatectomy). I can perform, which is really important to most men. My incontinence is 98.5% gone and getting better every day. Was it worth it? Yes. Given the same criteria, knowing what I know, would I make the same decision? Without question.
I have an 18-month-old grandson. He is the only son of an only son. He is my reason for being. I cannot imagine my son telling him that his grandfather died because he didn’t have a simple blood test to diagnose a disease that is treatable and curable if caught early.
Howard Green
Whittier
Correction: In an earlier version of this post, the name of letter writer Rosemary Patterson was followed by “CITY TK.”
Letters should be brief and may be edited for length and clarity. Email health@latimes.com. Please include your full name (no pseudonyms) and city of residence.
