Give ‘em a Taste of Reality

In desperate need of new midway freak shows to draw American TV viewers to mock and laugh at others, CBS is designing a reality series to plunk down some rural Americans in a fancy urban wasteland and see how they stumble. “The Real Beverly Hillbillies” should be a laugh riot. Friendly people out of their element trying to fit into a bewildering new place; it might just work today. Earnestness is so yesterday.

Some rural Americans pathetically protest that their way of life has as much merit for them as another for others. What hicks! Of course, TV couldn’t do a mocking reality series based on stupid, insulting false racial or ethnic stereotypes. But geographic groups, especially small, faraway ones without advertising clout, seem fine targets. Those barefoot folks probably make their own hootch. Hardy har har. When they’re not marrying cousins. Whoee. See what fun this can be?

Here’s a better idea: Let’s take four or five TV execs out of Bel-Air and drop them into a small Tennessee or Montana town. Have cameras follow their Italian shoes everywhere. See how long these urban galoots survive in a place where a handshake is a steel bond, where mocha is a color and grande is a real good time.

Cover them pumping their own gas, shoveling snow, mowing a lawn. How do you turn on a lawn mower anyway? Let’s film reactions at the Waffle House when the newcomers order a latte. “Hey, everybody, these city dudes want fancy coffee.” Let’s see how many of the visitors’ gleaming white-capped teeth are still in place after a couple of Friday nights making ugly cousin jokes at the Roundup Bar.

The entertainment possibilities here are rich. Catch their faces as they discover what gets on boots at a real job. Or what working paychecks total. How long would a Mercedes’ gleam last on unpaved spring roads? View the Hollywood crowd at the do-it-yourself car wash by Wal-Mart juggling wet quarters and high-pressure water hoses. Or seeking a Pilates studio. What a hoot!

Let’s see what happens if they don’t wave or say good morning to everyone. When they try to change bed partners like jewelry. See how many hot, humid Saturday afternoons their well-tailored behinds endure on the splintered Little League bleachers merely bearing witness to an earnest child’s three lonely innings in right field.

So now everyone can see that the potential for dishonest entertainment fun within geographic stereotypes is immense -- and tasteless, regardless of your ZIP Code.