Hansen: With parklet’s death, Forest continues to spiral

In Italian, Alessa means “defender of the people.”

In Lagunian, it means marauder of parking.

The City Council voted last week to rip out the $30,000 “parklet” that Alessa built in front of its restaurant. Alessa’s pioneering effort was a success for patrons — it was filled nearly every night — but apparently the city thought otherwise.

Forest Avenue will revert to its old, staid self, along with its two extra parking spots — woo-woo.

And nothing probably will ever happen again on Forest — ever — except, say, in 40 years when someone will propose to rename it “Black Hole Forest.”

To be fair, the city is studying what to do with Forest as part of its Downtown Specific Plan review. In fact, the parklet was part of the effort to test out some concepts by MIG, an urban design consultant.

It probably goes without saying, but Laguna is skilled at paying consultants for ideas. It’s getting public approval that’s nearly impossible.

Which is why Forest has not changed very much for decades and probably will not change anytime soon. In other words, it will take years for the villagers to stop beating up critics — metaphorically speaking.

So with Alessa, it’s not surprising the city stopped the trial, but it still stings. It was admittedly a clunky but noble attempt at doing something interesting on Forest.

To hear people whine about temporarily losing two parking spots was laughable — as if two spots really matter in an already gridlocked downtown.

Meanwhile, the owner of Alessa, Alessandro Pirozzi, said he felt “misled” by the city. It should be noted that in the 4 to 1 vote, Robert Zur Schmiede was the lone dissenter.

I’m guessing but maybe it was Zur Schmiede’s European roots that made him long for the romantic sidewalk cafes of his ancestors, the bustling bistros and parklike pedestrian zones.

Instead, we have back two more parking spots — woo-woo.

Sometime next year, the city will eventually get around to voting on the Downtown Specific Plan. By then, mark my words, any notion of closing half of Forest to cars will be off the table. It probably will never even make it near the table, despite broad public support.

Because it’s Black Hole Forest.

Because some villagers shake their fists and make threats.

Because Laguna is weird.

But here’s the thing: Laguna is weird in the wrong way.

We claim to be an art colony but then drive out artists by not supporting affordable housing — like more lofts downtown.

We cling to a colorful past that now has faded into black-and-white polarity — because we never compromise; we only veto.

We ignore the reality of our environment by trying to shut out the world — and not address the major infrastructure challenges forced upon us by our neighbors.

We are weird all right but not in a good way.

We need more defenders of the people in Laguna because we are more than street-side parking. We are more than status quo business, driven by short-sighted fear.

If we close Forest to cars, from Coast Highway to Glenneyre — a measly 385 feet — it will draw more shoppers. It’s been proven time and time again in cities throughout the world.

Modern, creative pedestrian zones work. Heck, ancient, creative pedestrian zones worked.

Laguna, however, right now is neither modern, ancient or very creative.

Laguna is a city with huge potential. We have built-in beauty we can barely screw up. We have amazing artistic events that run like well-oiled machines. Tourists still love us, despite our worst efforts.

Despite our sometimes lackluster restaurants. Despite our sometimes kitschy stores. Despite our sometimes timid, laissez faire spirit.

We have to start being more bold and visionary — thinking 10, 20, 30 years out.

It’s time — it’s been time — for something more than “no,” more than “hell no,” and certainly more than “if you don’t like it, leave Laguna.”

If the Downtown Specific Plan revision ends up being only an iteration, a tweak or a mediocre document destined for the dustbin, then we might as well go forward with the renaming now.

Because Black Hole Forest will be a more accurate description for the dying star that it is.

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DAVID HANSEN is a writer and Laguna Beach resident. He can be reached at hansen.dave@gmail.com.