Don’t like Piranha 3D? Expect a visit from its star.

Actor Adam Scott is so convinced that audiences will love the new nudity-and-gore schlock masterpiece ‘Piranha 3D’ that he pledged -- on Twitter -- to personally visit anyone who was disappointed by the flick: “Seriously. If you feel ripped off I will come to your house and act out my scenes for you and your friends. U provide shotgun and fish.”

That’s a bold statement, and not one that enterprising journalists are likely to leave alone. So Vanity Fair stepped into the breach to ask Scott if he’d actually follow through with his promise.

Scott’s response? Heck yeah... as long as you meet a few requirements.

“I really don’t think it will be necessary, since I can’t imagine one not being satisfied with Piranha 3D, but just in case, yes of course I will be there. Few things: Will need the aforementioned firearm and fish. Will also need local Elisabeth Shue look-alike to run dialogue with, a plaid shirt, two high-fives (one before we run the scenes, one after), peanut M&M’s, a map with the closest Red Roof Inn circled on it (I won’t be staying there, I just like knowing where it is. I’ll be staying with you), a 700-word essay on why you neglected to recognize that Piranha 3-D totally f***ing shreds, Perrier, a quick guitar lesson, one grenade, dinner with your family, and directions to the airport.”

We await news of the first person to meet these requirements and score a visit from Scott -- but we are a bit worried about his request for a grenade.