Someone must have been heavily sedated during grammar lessons

Arnold and I had uncomfortable Christmases. I got bronchitis. He got a broken leg. And what was the deal with Cruz Bustamante?

Sacramento seemed in really dire straits, if you believed one radio station’s mention of the lieutenant governor in its report on Schwarzenegger’s operation. The station said: “While under anesthesia, Cruz Bustamante served as governor.”

Actually, it’s not a bad idea; elected officials would undoubtedly cause less mischief if they served while under anesthesia.

Anyway, because of my illness, I still have some old business from 2006 to take care of.

Upon further review: I couldn’t let the year pass without telling you about the woman who was yelling inside a Norm’s restaurant in Huntington Beach. The Wave newspaper said she was angry “because the restaurant was out of bananas.”

And, in Laguna Beach, the animal spotted in one neighborhood wasn’t one of Santa’s reindeer. The Laguna News-Post said it was a goat that was taken “into custody after the animal hadn’t moved from a resident’s frontyard all night.”

It wasn’t a great year for real estate: Scott Dewees of L.A. found evidence of sluggish sales in a banner in Altadena (see photo).

The holidays are a great time for eating: But Kirk Lindamood hoped that the beagles offered in one newspaper ad weren’t really for “breading” (see accompanying).

Goleta landmarks: While buildings are knocked down all the time in Southern California, Jim Allen was reassured to see that the world’s least-accessible drive-up window has been preserved (see photo).

Most complex financial transaction of 2006: It could have occurred at a Target counter, where a customer tried to buy five gift cards -- with two other gift cards. After much head-scratching, the deal was approved.

Beach follies: In its 2006 crime-log round-up, the Seal Beach Sun recalled:

* The report in March of “an alligator or a large iguana” in the slow lane of the San Diego Freeway. It was a stuffed toy.

* A sighting in June of a 70ish motorist who swerved onto the shoulder of a road “near the Naval Weapons Station fence” and later hit a traffic cone.

She wasn’t drunk. She had forgotten to wear her glasses.

* A 50ish man who “was practicing one of the martial arts” inside a Starbucks in December and allegedly took a swing at someone. Police gave the amped-up coffee drinker a grande trespassing citation.

miscelLAny: In a Ralphs supermarket, a female clerk was marveling over the Christmas Day lines of 20 to 25 people in every checkout aisle -- almost all of them males, many of them buying presents.

“It would be a great place to meet men,” responded a female customer.

“Yeah,” the clerk said, “but do you really want to meet a man who’s shopping for Christmas gifts on Christmas Day -- and in a supermarket?”