Audrey’s Condo Search Diary: Realty Bites

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My friend Audrey*, who’s shopping for a condo, has a budget of $350K and growing sense that she’ll never own a condo in LA. She writes:

‘Every day is another test in real estate purgatory. I’m still waiting for Realtor to call and deliver some good news, or at least some closure. It’s been 2 weeks since I submitted my final offer for the
condo, and all I’ve heard is my impatient, well-heeled toe tapping on the floor.

Realtor is optimistic, which is good, because I’m becoming fatalistic. Thoughts of ‘I’m never gonna move out’ ‘why don’t they like me’ ‘what’s wrong with me’ haunt me and send me into a spiral of real estate induced self-esteem bashing. So I wait. And clean my current living quarters (I live with my parents)(they’re cool but it’s Time), to tempt the feng shui energy into bringing the condo to me.’

My immigrant parents grew up poor so they instilled the value of a dollar into their youngest daughter. I’m educated, financially and chemically stable, come from a great family and have a stellar credit score. Upwardly mobile, single and not looking.

I know I’m at the low end of LA real estate. I can’t afford much more than 350K. Well, not comfortably. I can live frugally but don’t want to be back on the college diet of top ramen. And stealing the Friday bagels from work.

A part of me is hopeful. While I wait, I’ve traded my fashion and celeb gossip rags for Ikea catalogs and paint samples. In my mind I’m moving in and redecorating. It’s like I’m getting ready for a wedding without a groom.

But realty bites. I find myself fretting like a simpering miss over the deafening silence. Pour another beer and pore over some paint chips. And wait for the phone to ring.

*Audrey is not her real name. Everything else is true.
Photo credit: Caleb Coppola
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