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Opinion: Fat girl scouts hate you

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How many millions have to die before Girl Scouts of the USA admit that Thin Mints don’t make you thin?

Writing in The American (the new and, for my complementary-subscription money, much better version of the old American Enterprise), Katherine Mangu-Ward wants to know. MeMe Roth, proprietor of National Action Against Obesity, is organizing a boycott against the fund-raisin’, pinwheelin’, sweet-tastin’ once-a-year treats. Notorious KMW gorges on the details:

‘I’ve always cringed at young females identifying themselves with baked goods,’ [Roth] says. ‘And I’m not convinced more cookies makes the world a better place.’ But of course, more cookies do make the world a better place—as anyone who has ever had a crunchy, coconut-y, chocolate-dipped Samoa can attest. People buy Girl Scout cookies because they are good cookies for a good cause. Most people buy (and eat) them in moderation, so a boycott isn’t changing health outcomes for the vast majority of cookie customers. And as Roth rightly points out, the Girl Scouts rely on the cookies for $700 million in revenue every year, revenue that they are unlikely to be able to replace with other sources—even in the five-year transition time graciously allotted to them by Roth. They shouldn’t try. More choices don’t make people fat, bad choices make people fat. In the case of Girl Scout cookies, more choices could even make you thinner. The Girl Scouts experiment with new flavors every year, and have removed trans fats from this year’s batch. The new flavors tend to be low fat or boast some other health conscious modification. A boycott (girlcott?) against all Girl Scout cookies by the most health-conscious segment of consumers is unlikely to encourage more experimentation.

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Just ten years ago, Suck’s E.L. Skinner blew the lid of the international Girl Scout conspiracy. And just the other day, we got an order of Tagalongs, Thin Mints, Trefoils, and Samoas at the Opinion office. They were good, but I miss the trans fats.

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