Father’s Opening Shot Ends Family Pet Care Skirmish

Joe Hargitt’s two children are avid readers of the pets-for-sale section of the daily newspaper classified ads in Vancouver, Canada, so their father knew exactly how to get the youngsters to take better care of their own pets. He took out an ad: “Warning--Unless Christopher and Jennifer take care of their pets EVERY day, this space will offer for sale 1 boa constrictor, 1 dog, 1 cat, 1 alligator lizard, 1 ferret.” Jenny, 9, spotted the column before 12-year-old Chris, and the ad drew a gasp of surprise, Hargitt said. “You wouldn’t believe what a pleasure it’s been around here since then,” he added. The family menagerie includes Mr. B, a boa constrictor more than 10 feet long; Snowball, a ferret; Alli, a lizard; Yertle, a tortoise; Coco, a dog; Meow, a cat, “and, oh yeah, the budgie, too,” said Hargitt. “The kids are always wanting something new, but they don’t always take care of them like they should. So all this frustration was just building up. I thought, why not give it a shot?”

--James Earl Ray, who is serving a 99-year sentence for the slaying of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on April 4, 1968, has asked a federal court to stop Tennessee authorities from selling his 1966 white Mustang. Shelby County has proposed to auction if off, with the money to be used to pay for storing it. Witnesses reported seeing a white Mustang speeding away from the scene in Memphis shortly after King was shot.

--You’re never too old to try something new, says jazz great Lionel Hampton, who received his first Grammy nomination for a rock instrumental tune after more than 50 years in the business. Hampton, 71, who has recorded more than 100 albums, says the success of “Vibromatic” “just goes to show you if you stay in there and keep pitchin’ you’re likely to hit pay dirt.”

--San Antonio veteran patrolman Gerald Marple says the truly outrageous excuses motorists offer in a try to get out of speeding tickets stick in the mind. His favorite: The driver he stopped after being clocked at 100 m.p.h. who claimed “he had just gotten out of the car wash and was trying to blow-dry his car. That would have been all right but he was hiding behind a building to avoid me.” And the standard excuse will get you nowhere. “If they tell me they were speeding because they had to go to the bathroom, I just write all the faster,” Marple said. “That has to be the oldest excuse.”