Riggins Knows When to Be Life of Party

Many professional athletes believe that they have a responsibility to act as role models for their young fans.

And many of them do it well. They dress like gentlemen, make inspirational speeches about clean living, appear in public service TV commercials, sign autographs and pat little children on the head.

That’s all fine. But what about those of us of more advanced years and mature views who would like an athlete as a role model, someone we can look up to, even try to emulate.

Such athletes are rare. On the one hand, we have the chronic goody-goodies, such as Steve Garvey, who seems to be constantly rehearsing for a political career or sainthood.

I’m sure he is a nice fellow. But if an ordinary person talked like Steve Garvey, everybody would get up and move down to the other end of the bar.

At the other extreme are those glassy-eyed athletes whose greatest challenge isn’t winning the game, but passing their urine-drug test. But most of us wouldn’t want to spend our time hiding from the trainer when he comes around with little bottles.

For a while, I thought that Billy Martin, the former baseball player and manager, was a suitable role model for the mature fan. I know some people will disagree, because Martin has been occasionally controversial. But it should be remembered that even before our society had entered the current age of rugged individualism, Martin was striking blows for the fundamental right of any American to have a quiet drink or two without being pestered by jerks. And in doing this, never once did he strike anybody who wasn’t a lot bigger than he is.

So I had Martin’s picture on my wall, along with those of Richard Burton, W.C. Fields, Peter O’Toole, Wilbur Mills, Billy Carter, and other blithe spirits.

Now, though, I think an even finer mature role model than Martin has emerged in John Riggins, the football player.

As most of the country knows, Riggins recently created a stir while attending a big banquet in Washington, D.C., which is where he plays football.

Riggins was sitting at a table with other prominent people, including Justice Sandra Day O’Connor of the U.S. Supreme Court.

After quenching his thirst several times over the evening, Riggins apparently observed that Justice O’Connor was either shy or reserved and did not appear as festive as others were.

Now, some people are so self-centered that if they are in the company of somebody shy or reserved, they do nothing to draw them out. They just let such a person sit there and miss out on all the fun.

But Riggins did the correct thing. He tried to draw Justice O’Connor into the merriment. He is quoted as saying something like: “Hey, Sandy baby, loosen up. You’re too tight.”

A little later, when the speeches began, Riggins became drowsy. That’s natural. Go to any dinner where political speeches are made and half the audience starts to drop off.

So Riggins flopped down on the floor, with his head under the table, and went to sleep. He even snored.

Some people might consider that rude. And maybe it was. But it should be remembered that the speaker was Vice President George Bush.

I don’t know if you have ever sat through one of George Bush’s speeches, but I’ve heard several, and it’s about time somebody did what Riggins did.

For years, Bush has been getting away with standing up before crowds of innocent victims and making them suffer through silly slogans, goofy promises, empty boasts and haggard cliches. Not just Bush, but most politicians.

Because people are inhibited, they sit there and pretend to be interested, even impressed, instead of reacting honestly and flinging the sugar bowls and silverware at the speaker.

All Riggins did when he fell asleep and snored was make an honest statement. And, who knows, maybe this will start a trend. Maybe others will follow Riggins’ example and, when politicians insist on babbling at them, will topple out of their chairs and begin snoring.

“I’ve been Rigginsed again,” the politicians would cry.

I think it’s a good idea. And right after work tonight I’m going to start practicing.