State of the State of the Union Address

The secret of President Reagan’s popularity is that he has the ability to make us all feel good, when we know we should feel bad.

Last week’s State of the Union speech was another triumph for the “Gipper.”

I have no idea how it played in Peoria, but from what I could tell it went over quite well in Washington.

“What did you think of the President’s speech?” I asked a secretary in my building.

“I thought it was wonderful,” she said. “He leveled with the American people.”

“When did he do that?”

“When he asked the lady cadet from West Point to take a bow from the balcony.”

“You felt that was the highlight of his address?” I inquired.

“That and when he asked the lady from Harlem to also take a bow, because of what she had done for little babies.”

“Yes, but what about the fact that the President glossed over the budget deficit and indicated that he wanted to proceed with the MX missile and Star Wars? Did you have any feelings on that?”

“Not really. I just thought Nancy looked beautiful in her red dress.”

A young man working as an intern on my floor said, “I thought it was a good speech and it was about time someone came out for the poor people and the farmers and the urban centers and deregulation of the airlines and the Peace Corps.”

“Then you didn’t get the impression that the President was avoiding the issue of how he expected to reduce the budget deficit without raising taxes?”

“Frankly, I wasn’t listening that closely. All I know is what he told us. The country’s in excellent shape now, and it’s going to get even better if Congress passes all of Mr. Reagan’s programs.”

“That’s a big ‘if.’ ”

“Well, they sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to him.”

“Was there anything about the speech you didn’t like?”

“I was very annoyed when George Bush and Tip O’Neill kept talking while the President was speaking. They shouldn’t have done that.”

“Perhaps they weren’t paying attention because the President had given the same speech before,” I suggested.

“It doesn’t matter if they heard it before. They should have pretended they didn’t.”

My third survey victim told me the thing she liked about the speech was the President’s tie.

“Is there anything else you remember about it besides the President’s tie?”

“No,” she said. “Was I supposed to?”

“Forget the President’s speech for a moment. What did you think of the Democratic reply?”

“What reply?”

“They put on their own reply to the President’s State of the Union speech.”

“I didn’t hear it. I was watching ‘Dynasty.’ ”

“Don’t tell me you’d rather watch ‘Dynasty’ than hear the Democrats defend their party.”

She said in disbelief, “Now you’re putting me on.”