How to Crash Hollywood : Some Down-to-Earth Tips for Starry-Eyed Hopefuls

Duke Ingraham and Lawrence Monaco have never met. They live worlds apart--Ingraham is a pharmaceutical consultant in Oklahoma City, Monaco a secretary for a temporary jobs agency in Los Angeles. At 62, Ingraham is graying and bearded, and could easily pass as the youthful Monaco’s father.

Yet their paths crossed briefly Saturday, the two men drawn to a tiny lecture hall on the UCLA campus in search of answers to a shared dilemma: How to get noticed in Hollywood.

Along with 100 or so other would-be actors, Ingraham and Monaco spent the day listening to a string of show business pros--from casting directors to publicists to actors such as “Mork and Mindy” star Pam Dawber--recount the rigors of seeking stardom in the celluloid capital.

A dazzling smile and stylish swagger are not enough, they learned.

Getting a break, they were told, is almost as rare as Halley’s comet.

“Our job today is to try and talk as many people as possible out of acting,” said George Goldberg, organizer of Saturday’s Forum for the Aspiring Actor, and publisher of Faces International, a thick, quarterly magazine that carries photographs and vital statistics on about about 750 actors, many of them unknowns who are plying their trade in out-of-the-way playhouses across America.

Ingraham is one of those unknowns. He has not performed outside of Oklahoma, where he has starred in several regional stage productions, including “The Crucible” and “1776.”

Hollywood’s rewards--the money, the name in lights and the promise of the good life--prompted Ingraham, whose sharply tapered beard and bushy eyebrows make him resemble Col. Sanders, to take up acting five years ago.

“I’m realistic. I know I’m too far down the hill to really find big stardom,” said Ingraham, who spent nearly $700 on air fare, hotels and meals to attend the forum. “But I believe somewhere in Hollywood there is a part just right for me.

“Maybe it’s not a big part, one with lots of glamour,” he said. “But it’s for me. Listen, if you run into someone who needs an old man with hairy legs, let ‘em know I’m available.”

Unlike Ingraham, time is still an ally for Monaco.

The ruggedly handsome Chicagoan came to Los Angeles five years ago after a stint in the military. He immediately tried to land an acting job, but found most doors closed. So he worked odd jobs, most recently as a secretary. He’s had parts in stage shows, but he’s still looking for a shot at a feature-length film.

“Sure it’s like beating your head against the wall sometimes,” said Monaco, 26. “But it’s the desire to excel that pushes you. It’s like the old saying, ‘To be good is not good enough when you dream of being great.’ I dream of being great.”

If that sounds boastful, Goldberg warned that “this isn’t a business for the meek. This town is full of hometown heroes--the Miss Yucca Valleys or the high school stage star. But this isn’t Poughkeepsie, U.S.A. In this business only the tenacious survive.”

Reality is what Goldberg and other entertainment experts preached to the bunch of largely no-name actors at the forum.

“The first lesson of Hollywood is there are no rules,” said Larry Thompson, who manages the careers of such TV stars as Donna Mills and Bruce Boxleitner. “Once you learn that, it’s simple.”

Thompson’s secret to screen success is an intangible he calls “rage.”

“Talent is important, but possessing a rage to succeed is the key,” he told the actors, most of them young and good looking. “It’s not enough to be ambitious or enthusiastic. There are too many people who come to California, give themselves six months to be discovered. That’s fantasy. This is not a career, but a vocation.

“You’ve got to have tunnel vision, focused on one thing and only one thing,” he said. “It’s going to cost you plenty, but the riches are vast.”

Hollywood’s seamy side may also tempt the hungry actor searching for a shortcut to the top. For years, stories have swirled about actors sleeping their way to fame and fortune.

“Does the casting couch exist in show business? Sure it does, just as it probably does in other professions,” said Goldberg, whose staff must sift through nearly 8,000 photographs and biographies of actors for its quarterly magazine. “Pretty girls--and these days pretty boys--are always going to be propositioned.

“But in the end, those who tell you they can make you a star are full of it,” he said. “There’s no substitute for exposure, training and hard work.”