Chairman Calvin: He Has Way With Words

Once when Calvin Griffith still owned the Minnesota Twins, Manager Gene Mauch was trying to convince him to sign relief pitcher Mike Marshall to a multiyear contract.

Said Mauch: “Don’t worry about his age. Mike is a freak.”

Said Griffith, screaming: “I know he’s a freak. That’s why I don’t want to sign him!”

That’s from a book called “Quotations from Chairman Calvin,” edited by David Anderson. Today, Morning Briefing devotes itself to some selected quotes from the book.

--On his family: “This is a very close-knit family. I imagine you talked to my son Clark yesterday, and I imagine he told you we don’t talk.”

--On today’s players: “Ballplayers used to sit in the dining car and discuss baseball when they traveled by train. Now they get on a jet and 80% have attache cases and some kind of musical box with earphones on.”

--On Butch Wynegar’s marriage: “He was playing hands with his wife during spring training, and instead of running around the outfield, he did his running around the bedroom.”

--On the Metrodome: “I think this is great. The ball really shoots out of here. Now, if we can only learn to hit.”

--On playing indoors: “Well, maybe they could paint a moon and some stars on the roof. Aw, hell, I don’t know.”

--On racial remarks: “Look, I’m no bigot. When we sign a prospect, I don’t ask what color he is. I only ask, ‘Can he run? Hit? Throw?’ After this season, I’m going to ask one more question. Can he field? We made so many errors this season . . . aw, never mind.”

--On looking for a new manager: “I can’t tell you exactly what I intend to do, but I can tell you one thing, it won’t be anything rational.”

--On modern merchandising: “We got to get rid of it. You spend $200,000 to $300,000 a year telling people, ‘C’mon out and see us, we’re great.’ Then you win 5 out of 15 and you make yourself look like a horse’s ass.”

--On celebrities he’s known: “I got some baseballs over there signed by movie stars . . . uh, Cary Grant and the other actor, Charles Heston and . . . uh, who else? Ali, Ali . . . I don’t know how to pronounce his last name. He’s the fighter. Ali Muhammad, that’s it.”

--On fickle fans: “I’ve got a license plate on my car that says TWINS. Last year, when I would go down the highway, people would see me and go like this with their finger.”

--On being outspoken: “If you don’t speak out, nobody thinks you’re doing anything. I guarantee you that the people in Minnesota know that Calvin Griffith is in the game because they love to quote me and razz me. I’m the most curcified guy in the whole state.”

--On baseball meetings: “I sit there and wonder where some of the people come up with their thoughts. Sometimes I feel like saying something but I don’t. You just can’t get up and make a fool out of yourself.”

--On growing up: “When I was a kid, I wanted to become a boxer, but I got out of it after getting hit on the head a couple of times.”

On his knee surgery: “They took out the cartridge.”

Quotebook

Calvin Griffith, told that Butch Wynegar said he loved baseball so much he would play for nothing: “I love that kid.”