Eddie Sutton is the new basketball coach at Kentucky, but in Lexington they still tell stories about Joe B. Hall, the man who never quite made them forget Adolph Rupp.
Sam Smith of the Chicago Tribune passes along one about the
young boy in court for a custody hearing, and the judge asks him if he wants to live with his mother.
“No, your honor, she beats me,” the boy said.
“Well, then, do you want to live with your father?”
“No, he beats me,” the boy said.
“Well,” the judge said, “who do you want to live with?”
“Joe Hall,” the boy said. “He doesn’t beat anybody.”
Add Forgettable Quotes: Wrote Bill Conlin of the Philadelphia Daily News when it was rumored that the Phillies would trade Al Oliver to the Dodgers: “I’m going to break president Bill Giles’ heart and say there is no way Oliver is going to wind up in Dodger Stadium. I don’t think the deal for right-hander Pat Zachry has any more chance to be done than Charles Manson has of walking after his next petition for parole.”
Sure, Minnesota blew an 8-0 lead and lost to the New York Yankees Monday night, 9-8, but Twin fans have been there before.
Last Sept. 28, Minnesota blew a 10-0 lead and lost to Cleveland, 11-10. The loss clinched the American League West title for Kansas City.
The loser Monday night was Ron Davis. It was his third loss in four days. Yes, he was the loser in last year’s game, too.
From Billy Tubbs, basketball coach at Oklahoma: “Bobby Knight must be the best defensive coach in history. Who else could hold Wayman Tisdale and Patrick Ewing to 12 points a game at the Olympics?”
Wrote Mark Whicker of the Philadelphia Daily News in congratulating basketball coaches Paul Evans of Navy and Les Wothke of Army for winning seasons: “And they’re not cheating. Well, probably not. It must be tough to cheat at Army and Navy. ‘Here, son. Here are the keys to the tank.’ ”
Comiskey Park in Chicago is 75 years old, and there’s talk about building a new park, but there are some who don’t want to hear about it.
Pitcher Tom Seaver told Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune: “All ballparks should look like this. Modern parks are too antiseptic. You come here, and it feels like baseball. It has history and character.”
Said Manager Tony LaRussa: “I get a kick out of being here. I can imagine Jimmy Dykes in the dugout. Luke Appling fouling off pitches. Al Lopez. Sometimes I think of Babe Ruth hitting dingers to center field. I’ve come to love this park.”
Said outfielder Ron Kittle: “You can hit a home run on the roof. That’s more fun than hitting one off an air conditioner.”
Coach Frank Kush of the Arizona Outlaws, refusing to be discouraged by an all-time low turnout of 5,731 for the last game: “We’ll play whether there’s 1, 2, 5 or 50 people in the stands. There’ll always be at least one, because I’ll show up.”