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A Crazy Thing Happened to Weaver

Jim Palmer told Joe Gergen of Newsday that he and Earl Weaver often disagreed on strategy at Baltimore but added, “I never accused him of being stupid.”

This reminded Gergen of a story Weaver told on himself at banquets after the Orioles were stunned by the New York Mets in the 1969 World Series.

It seems that Weaver was driving by a mental hospital in the Baltimore area when he had a flat tire. Attempting to change the tire in the dark, he had the lug nuts roll into a storm drain.

Now, he was in a fix. But he heard a voice tell him to take a nut off each of the other wheels and use them to fasten the spare. Turning, Weaver saw a man standing inside the fence, evidently a patient.

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“If you’re so smart,” Weaver said, “what are you doing in an insane asylum?”

“I may be crazy,” the man replied, “but I’m not stupid.”

The Prophet: Wrote Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post Feb. 24: “Somebody might get Joe Altobelli’s job this season, but don’t bet that anybody will get his goat.”

Wilbon then quoted Altobelli as saying, “The worst thing is to get fired in September. If you get it, it’s better to get it in May. I’ve never had a summer vacation.”

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Summer arrives next Friday.

U.S. Open leader T.C. Chen speaks pretty good English, but he still has the traditional problem with the letters r and l . It’s a problem that has led to a few laughs in the press tent at Oakland Hills in Birmingham, Mich.

For instance, when asked if he was getting support from the galleries, he said: “Yes, I can hear the people crapping.”

Add Chen: Taiwan is known for its baseball, having dominated the Little League World Series for several years, but Chen said he much prefers basketball. In fact, he said he plays on a team in Taipei.

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Asked what position, he said: “Forward. Because I’m tall. I’m tall in Taiwan, short here.”

He’s 5-10.

Add Forgettable Quotes: Said Fred Couples after shooting a 66 in the first round Thursday: “This is a fun course. I’m definitely looking forward to tomorrow.”

On Friday, the laughing stopped. Couples shot a 78.

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In 1961, as a 21-year-old amateur, Jack Nicklaus tied for fourth in the U.S. Open at Oakland Hills. In subsequent tournaments at the course, he tied for 13th in the PGA in 1972 and tied for 65th in the PGA in 1979.

When someone asked him how he liked the course after he missed the cut Friday, Nicklaus said, “I’m liking it less all the time.”

He added, however: “There’s nothing wrong with the golf course, just me.”

Said Jamie Easterly of the Cleveland Indians, explaining a home run he gave up to Minnesota’s Tom Brunansky: “I tried to throw a sinker to him--and it sunk about 390 feet away.”

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Said Dennis (Oil Can) Boyd of the Boston Red Sox after beating Toronto, 4-1, for his ninth complete game, tops in the majors: “I want to give the people what they want to see. I want to go nine innings every time out. If the skipper wants to take me out, he’s going to have to chase me to center field to get the ball.”

He added: “I want to pitch this team to a pennant. These people are great, and it’s about time something good happened in Boston--besides Larry Bird.”

Quotebook

Stan Isaacs of Newsday, on the voice of announcer Tom Heinsohn: “It sounds like a hoarse frog in heat.”

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