Annual Report Resembles Fairy Tale--but It’s Real

It says it’s an annual report, but there are whimsical towers on the cover, chubby cartoon characters inside and a rambling, rhyming fable on the evils of deficit spending.

And while the colorful booklet is clearly labeled, “The Signal Companies Inc. Annual Report for Young People. 1984,” company officials admit it’s a format grown-ups love, too.

Giant hippo-headed machines spew a never-ending stream of money so the cartoon figures, called Mogofers, may sate their appetites. Mogofers, the booklet explains, live in the Kingdom of Mogof and have a penchant for taking the bean-taste out of green beans.

The real tip-off to a seasoned business reporter is the existence of only one table with two rows of seven figures each.

And for those who have trouble with that table, there is a drawing on the opposite page with two stacks of money, one bigger than the other. The big one on the left, with a pyramid of well-fed executives in three-piece suits piling bills on top, has $173 million--the company’s earnings during 1984. The other has $5 million--its profits during 1983.