‘Heed the Great Spaghetti Spat’

Every red-blooded American should rejoice at the news that Washington has at long last imposed drastic new import duties on pasta, particularly Italian pasta. Never mind that Euromart threatens retaliation by imposing new import duties on our own lemons and walnuts. America has cast down the gauntlet!

No more will our government stand idle while our trade balance approaches $180 billion annually; while 2 million American jobs are exported to Taiwan, Brazil, Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan and elsewhere; while thousands of U.S. businesses are driven to bankruptcy or near-bankruptcy by cheap foreign imports.

Our government has come to the rescue! Not only by raising import duties on pasta made with eggs, but on pasta made WITHOUT eggs! Let the world take notice that America will hereafter protect its own; that America is fighting back; that America will no longer remain passive while its factories close, its workers go without jobs, its economy bleeds to death.

No more! The battle is joined! America is finally on the march! Rally you unemployed, you bankrupt businessmen, you workers living on low pay and food stamps. Salvation is at hand. The government has come to your aid by restricting pasta imports!

Let the battle go forward, let America’s battle cry be heard round the world: “Pasta Shall Not Pass.”

FRANK BRITTON

Escondido