Adopt Handicapped, Sexually Abused Youngsters : Couple Provide Refuge for Unwanted Children

In a family of 27, the “car” is a 22-year-old city bus and birthdays come around every couple of weeks or so. Dinner is served from camp-sized kettles on two eight-foot picnic tables in a home that has 5 1/2 baths, 11 bedrooms, 21 beds and 6 cribs.

Welcome to the clan of Bob and Kathie Migliaccio. They have seven children and have adopted 18 others, mostly severely handicapped youngsters that no one else wanted.

More may be on the way.

‘They Grow on You’

“Once you start adopting, you get bit by the bug,” said Kathie Migliaccio, whose 42-year-old husband can’t work and draws worker’s compensation because he hurt his back three years ago on the job in the maintenance department of the Corry School District. “Once you have a child in your home, they grow on you and you don’t want to give them up.”

The Migliaccios signed their first adoption papers in 1971 after six months as foster parents to three young children who had been abused physically and sexually.

Since then, the household has become a refuge for unwanted children, a happy haven where biological children are referred to as “homemade” and adopted children as “extra added spices.”

“There are no unadoptable kids, just families that haven’t been found,” proclaims a poster among the dozens of crayon drawings on the Migliaccios’ kitchen wall.

Most of the children had spent years in foster homes, institutions or with other adopted parents.

Five in Wheelchairs

Three are blind. Two are deaf. Nine are retarded to some degree. Three have cerebral palsy. Five are in wheelchairs. One is autistic.

There are 14 boys and 11 girls, ranging in age from a few months to 21 years. Twenty-one children are white, three are black and one is biracial.

One boy is the product of an incestuous relationship between his mother and grandfather. Others have been raped or sexually abused by relatives.

One child’s natural parents burned his backside, feet and legs and knocked out all his teeth.Another boy’s mother “broke all the bones in his arms and legs, fractured his spine, shattered his skull and killed his twin sister,” Kathie Migliaccio said.

The newest additions to the family arrived in July, two infants with Down’s syndrome.

‘Kids Need Us’

The family’s dream is to get the money to establish a foundation and build a large home where they could take more unwanted, handicapped children.

“The caseworker asked me why we need more kids,” Kathie Migliaccio said. “I told her that we don’t need kids, the kids need us.”

Despite the numbers, there is little chance of a child going unnoticed at the Migliaccios, where the routine things in life--dressing, bathing and eating--are adventures.

Meals are like Thanksgiving every day with just about everyone pitching in with the cooking and cleaning.

When the family is called to dinner, children who aren’t handicapped quietly begin to round up the ones who need help. Wheelchairs are pushed into the dining room, small children are buckled into high chairs and the rest gather around the picnic tables.

Kettles of Food

Large kettles of food are placed on the tables, but no one eats until everyone is seated and, one by one, has said grace.

The children who need help eating are fed by those seated next to them.

“We all eat together,” Kathie Migliaccio says. “I’m a real stickler on that. Family is family.”

“We stick together, we’re always together,” added 19-year-old Jill, one of the adopted children.

Nadine, 21, a special education major at Edinboro State College who was adopted by the Migliaccios when she was a child, said: “It’s the whole family’s decision to adopt.” She plans to continue the tradition when she gets married.

Two Dogs, Two Cats

The family’s large home is in a constant state of renovation and repair, with two dogs, two cats and three goldfish adding to the burgeoning numbers. The bus that became the family car once served the New Jersey transit system, circa 1963.

“The neighbors cringe when we first move into a neighborhood,” Bob Migliaccio says with a laugh.

But his wife adds: “We have found that more people in Corry are behind us than we realized. The only ones who talk us down are the people whose kids we would adopt.”

Although money is tight, all needs are met.

Bob Migliaccio’s worker’s compensation amounts to $766 a month. Though he has had two operations for a slipped disc, he is considered totally disabled because he can’t sit or stand in one position very long. The seven natural children receive monthly Social Security payments of $340. The entire family qualifies for Medicaid for health emergencies and $300 a month in food stamps.

‘God Always Provided’

“I don’t lie awake at night worrying about money,” said Kathie Migliaccio. “It just seems God always provided.

“Money is wasted by most people. We don’t live extravagantly. We just spent only $250 for a couch and a chair that we bought at an auction. We don’t have to buy the best and spend the most money. And we don’t have to sacrifice to adopt either.”

The income pays for the mortgage, utilities and a monthly food bill of about $1,500.

“We keep it low by putting up vegetables, buying meat on sale and shopping around for specials,” Kathie Migliaccio said.

The family spends $400 to $600 a month on clothes, which they never buy new “unless the stuff is on sale” or unless they go to outlets, she said.

Scholarships for College

College tuition for three children is paid for in part with scholarships, loans and work-study programs.

Birthdays are celebrated with cake and presents. Christmas spending averages $5,000 to $6,000.

What’s left in the bank goes toward vacations and occasional jaunts to local restaurants for dinner or a nearby amusement park.

“Some of the kids at school tell us we’re poor,” said Michelle, 17, one of the “homemade” children. “But we live better than a lot of them.”

Kathie Migliaccio is proud of her successes with the handicapped children, particularly the retarded ones who have progressed beyond the expectations of doctors and caseworkers.

The Migliaccios decided that they could be parents on a grand scale after they found Billy, who was declared clinically dead at birth. He survived but suffered severe brain damage. Doctors warned that he would never be able to see, hear, speak or walk.

Unwanted by Others

“When I adopt, I want to know that no one else wants the kid,” Kathie Migliaccio said.

“By the time we got him and found out he wasn’t going to be a vegetable, that he could be a person, we realized how many more children are out there who will live in an institution or a life in limbo because nobody will help them reach their potential.”

“He’s our miracle baby,” added her husband, a lean, tanned man who walks with a cane because of the back injury.

“They said he’s brain damaged, but he’s not. I know there’s a brain there somewhere,” Bob Migliaccio said, lightly tapping the boy’s head. “You just have to break through the barrier. And we’re going to break through it one of these days.”

But the family has not been without its problems.

Bobby left home at 18 after 14 years with the family when he got involved in drugs and alcohol. And the family had to give up 14-year-old Louie a few months after they adopted him.

‘That Was Last Straw’

“When he stole my ring, that was the last straw,” Kathie Migliaccio said.

“But it wasn’t his fault. He was a victim of the system. They had medicated him when he was 5 instead of finding out what his problem was. As it turned out, he blamed himself for his mother’s death. But instead of giving him psychological help, they ignored him.”

The Migliaccios say they love their adopted and biological children equally, regardless of how long a child has been living with them. Those feelings surfaced when one teen-age adoptee almost died of a tumor disorder after living in the household for seven months.

“It really became apparent to me how much I cared,” Kathie Migliaccio said. “I used to think, who would I grab first if the house was burning? I know now I’d just grab to grab.”