THE ROAD TO ISHTAR

Finally we dug up the script to “Ishtar,” the super-secret Elaine May-directed comedy for Columbia Pic with Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty.

It’s a buddy comedy by May about down-on-their-luck singer-songwriters Chuck (Hoffman) and Lyle (Warren Beatty). And get this: Hoffman’s the lady killer (as one smitten femme puts it, “He’s got that great body--sort of like a cat, but wiry”). Beatty, who’s sooo envious of Hoffman, is no Romeo: When his wife--the only woman he’s ever “known”--leaves him, he falls apart. Hoffman’s there to help (and give sexual pointers) until his steady exits, leaving him a basket case as well.

Determined to make it big in show biz, the guys take a gig at the Chez Casablanca in Morocco. On the way, in a place called Ishtar, they’re beset by adventure/romance/intrigue. The desert sands abound in CIA spies, loyal followers of the Emir, revolutionaries and one blind camel.

Oh, and there’s lovely Shirra (Isabelle Adjani). On a quest to overthrow the Emir, she’s masquerading as a boy when she locks lips with Beatty (who suffers a brief but painful identity crisis). It gets more confusing when Hoffman suspects Beatty of being a spy--and vice versa. All complicated by a long-lost Arabic map that prophesies that Islam will be restored to full glory following the appearances of two strangers. . . .