VIDEOMENU: A MODERN VERSION OF TV DINNER

This column has long taken an interest in the, uh, interfacing of electronics and gastronomy--reporting on such phenomena, for instance, as computerized order pads for waiters up in Menlo Park and robotized hamburger stands in New York City.

Now, from that latter venue, comes word of what might just be (but, alas, is probably not) the ultimate in the mating of technology and taste: a double-decker of TV-cool and kitchen-hot known as the Videomenu. The Videomenu may be found at El Internacional in Gotham’s TriBeCa section, a popular tapas bar and restaurant run by Barcelona chef/restaurateur Montse Guillen, and is the work of her longtime associate, artist Antoni Miralda (who also designed the shall we say distinctive -looking restaurant itself). The menu appears on a big Sony monitor, deliberately wavy as if underwater. “Text and images move across the screen in three bands,” Guillen explains. “At the top, the name of the dish is given in Spanish or Catalan. The center band depicts the food itself--before, during, and after its preparation. And on the bottom, a scrolling text describes the origins and pleasures of each dish.”

Also included are “historical anecdotes of a dubious nature (to) enhance the conversational value of the meal”--the story, for example, of “the hitherto unsuspected link between cephalopods and the assassination of Julius Caesar.” (Something about the Squids of March?)

Elsewhere on the restaurant circuit (shall we say), New York also has a new Restaurant Hotline and Guide--a system of four phone numbers, one for each of four “quadrants” of Manhattan, which allows the prospective diner, using only his or her telephone dialing pad and receiver, to choose a type of restaurant and price range, hear mini-reviews of three establishments that fit the bill, and even have the call automatically forwarded to the place finally chosen.

And a little lower down on the technology totem--for those who prefer to let their fingers do the walking--food and wine experts (respectively) John F. Mariani and Peter D. Meltzer have just published the 1986 edition of their Passport to New York Restaurants, which lists, rates, and reviews something over 250 Big Apple hash-houses in a little tiny guidebook not much bigger than some fancy matchbooks I’ve seen. The tariff is $4.95 per copy (with quantity discounts available), and the address is 967 Lexington Ave., Suite 115, New York 10021.

FUN FOOD FAX: Meanwhile, back in L.A., where oral tradition remains strong, the UCLA Extension program is presenting a daylong seminar--making use of neither the electronic media or even the printed word--called “Culture and Cuisine--The Rich History of the World’s Great Dishes.” According to organizers, among the questions to be addressed will be: “How did pasta come to Italy?,” “How are the mountains depicted in Chinese landscape painting intimately related to the origin of stir-frying?” and “What dishes adorned the tables of ancient Roman emperors and Arab potentates?” (Cephalopods?) The program runs from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on March 1, and costs $50 per person--with a light lunch and afternoon refreshments based on recipes that are discussed. Call (213) 825-0641 for more information.

WHAT’S COOKIN’: Chef Laurent Quenioux of the 7th Street Bistro downtown--one of the best French chefs in town--is now co-owner /chef Laurent Quenioux of the 7th Street Bistro. Developer Wayne Ratkovich, who originally opened the place with the extraordinary Joachim Splichal in the kitchen, has sold out--replaced by Quenioux and attorney Dick Riordan, whose other downtown restaurant is the Original Pantry. May his new venture soon have as long a line outside as his older one always does! . . . And CPA John Hoag has purchased the West End Garden Restaurant in West L.A. Hoag, who is a closet jazz fan and pianist, has announced the opening of a “Music Room” at the establishment to feature club-style jazz entertainment. . . . Hop Louie is new in Chinatown, on the site of the former Jade Pagoda. . . . Guy Gabriele continues his Dinners with the Winemakers series at his Cafe Pierre in Manhattan Beach with an event tomorrow night featuring some of the ever-better wines of the Santa Barbara region. . . . The Palm has opened a new outlet, its 10th, on Bush Street in San Francisco. . . . Scratch in Santa Monica has started serving tapas daily from 3:30 to 8 p.m. and again at late supper time. Included are such items as meat-filled empanadas, grilled bread and tomato sauce, and crab tartlettes, plus plenty of imported sherry ‘n’ such with which to wash everything down. . . . And Andre Surmain, who founded Lutece in New York City nearly 25 years ago (later bringing in the current owner, chef Andre Soltner, as his partner), is back in America after a 13-year stay in the south of France. Surmain is here to open Le Relais a Mougins at the Palm Court Hotel in Palm Beach, Fla.--which he will run in concert with his original Relais a Mougins in Mougins, near Cannes (possibly closing the French version in the winter and the Florida one in the summer to take advantage of peak seasons in each place).