One Time That a Cough Wasn’t to Be Sneezed at

When it was learned that ABC will be eating the contract of Joe Namath, costing the network anywhere from $500,000 to $1 million, depending on what figure you can believe, Alan Greenberg of the Hartford Courant was reminded of Billy Clyde Puckett, the fictional football hero in Dan Jenkins’ book, “Life Its Ownself.”

Puckett, like Namath, had no experience as an announcer, but after he suffered a career-ending knee injury, he was visited in the hospital by a TV exec who wanted to hire him to do color commentary.

Puckett was offered $100,000 to do 12 games, at which point he cleared his throat. Not for effect. Because he had to.

But the TV exec didn’t know that. So he offered $150,000.

“It made me wonder,” said Puckett later, “what a violent coughing spell would have done.”

How confident was Buddy Ryan that Chicago would win the Super Bowl?

Weeb Ewbank, head coach of the New York Jets when Ryan was an assistant there, told Gary Pomerantz of the Washington Post that he visited the Bears in their locker room an hour before the game at the Superdome.

Ewbank: “When I went to see Buddy, he asked me, ‘What are you doing around 10 o’clock tonight? Why don’t you come to our victory party?’

“I told him, ‘I hope your players didn’t hear you say that.’ Buddy said, ‘Shoot, I just told them the same thing.’ ”

Add Ryan: Jeff Fisher, former USC and Chicago Bears safety and now one of Ryan’s assistants with the Philadelphia Eagles, told about his first encounter with the coach.

“Buddy called me a blank and a blankety-blank when I first got to the Bears as a rookie,” Fisher said. “I asked the veterans which was better. They said if Buddy calls you a blank you’re OK, but if he calls you a blankety-blank, you’re in trouble.”

Trivia Time: Since World War II, the Boston Red Sox have had seven different batting champions who have won a total of 14 titles? How many can you name? (Answer below.)

Add Trivia: If somebody asks you who Matt Zych is, he’s not the last name in the Baseball Register, although he would be if he were a player. He’s the son of the Kansas City Royals equipment manager. He joined the world of trivia when the Royals took their team picture. George Brett was unable to make it because of a stomach virus, so Zych took his place. Later, Zych’s face will be removed and a photo of Brett will be superimposed on Zych’s body.

Note: The last name in the Baseball Register is Paul Zuvella, an infielder for the Atlanta Braves. The last name in the Baseball Encyclopedia, which lists everybody who ever played, is Dutch Zwilling, Chicago White Sox outfielder in 1910s.

How do you pronounce the name of Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski?

Says Skip Bayless of the Dallas Times Herald: “It is, according to Duke sports information director John Roth, ‘Shuh-SHEF-skee.’ As in, ‘My compliments to the shuh-shef-skee.’ ”

Bayless adds: “His players call him Coach K, or they’d never have time for practice.”

Trivia Answer: Ted Williams (4), Billy Goodman, Pete Runnels (2), Carl Yastrzemski (3), Carney Lansford, Fred Lynn and Wade Boggs (2). Note: Williams also won two batting titles before World War II, giving him a total of six.

Quotebook

Former Navy basketball Coach Paul Evans, on why he rejected the job at the University of Houston: “At Houston, they told me the five most important things were football, spring football, church, family and something else I don’t remember. That wasn’t a real positive situation I wanted to get involved in.”