Cosell Still Has His Way With Words

When Howard Cosell came to Sacramento to promote California tourism as a favor to former ABC-TV President Elton Rule, a young reporter asked, “How much is the state of California paying you?”

“Nothing,” Cosell said. “That’s the kind of question a good reporter would never ask. It’s tasteless. Also, an invasion of privacy.”

With that, Cosell went for the jugular. According to Joe Hamelin of the Sacramento Bee, the following exchange took place:

Cosell: “What are you doing about a paper that published the Pentagon Papers but withheld a drug story on a team three weeks before the Super Bowl? What are you doing about that? I want your answer. If you’re a journalist. What are you doing? What paper do you work for? Answer me.”

Reporter: “That has nothing to do . . . “

Cosell: “Answer me!”

Reporter: “What has that . . . ?”

Cosell: “What I got paid has nothing to do with it, either. That’s what it’s got to do with it. Damn it, responsibility goes two ways. And if you write for a paper, I want to know which paper. And I want to know your name. And I want to know what you’re doing about the Boston Globe.”

Wrote Hamelin: “And then, without even inhaling, Cosell launched into a discourse about the deleterious impact the Pentagon Papers might have had upon our security, while the young newsman--who, as far as is known, is doing nothing at all about the Boston Globe--melted into his chair like warmed cheddar.”

Houston Rockets Coach Bill Fitch, on the court awareness of the Boston Celtics’ Larry Bird: “I call him Kodak. When the ball goes up, I know Larry is already taking a picture of where the other nine guys are.”

Bill Rigney, Oakland A’s executive, played with Willie Mays and Johnny Mize, and managed Willie McCovey and Harmon Killebrew, but he said he’s never seen anyone like A’s rookie Jose Canseco.

“He’s got more power than Killebrew,” Rigney said. “He gets air time on balls. I’ve never seen balls hit that way before. I’ve seen Harmon get it all, I mean really get it all, and they had plenty of hang time, but Jose’s just go a little bit farther and a little bit higher.”

Trivia Time: What do Al Michaels, Pat Riley and Hot Rod Hundley have in common? (Answer below.)

The Chicago Tribune noted that the full name of the Illinois forward who set a school rebounding record this season is Efrem Zimbalist Winters. Explaining, the paper said: “Winters’ older sister had a tremendous crush on the star of ’77 Sunset Strip’ and suggested the name for her newborn brother.”

From next day’s Tribune: “An Illini alum called to say this wasn’t a first. Seems the track team a few years back had a triple jumper named Efrem Zimbalist Stringfellow, known to friends as E.Z. String.”

George Allen used to ask for 110%, but Buddy Ryan says you can win with less than that.

Ryan, new head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, told the Philadelphia Inquirer: “If you can get 80% out of your players, you’re probably going to beat most teams because they’re probably not getting but 70% from theirs.”

Said Eagle linebacker Mike Reichenbach: “The first thing Coach Ryan said to us was, ‘If everybody plays 10% better, we can win this division.’ ”

Trivia Answer: All were color men for Chick Hearn.

Quotebook

Lance Ten Broeck, who failed to qualify for a seventh season on the PGA Tour and must now compete on the fledgling Tournament Players Assn. golf circuit: “I’m broke and I don’t want to get a job. All I own are a Porsche and a suntan.”