SUGGESTED FIRST COURSE: TELEPHONE ETIQUETTE

I called Wave in Santa Monica one afternoon not long ago to ask if, by any chance, they’d have a table for two available for that very evening. The young man who had answered the phone could hardly believe his ears.

“We’re all booked up ,” he announced, with what I can only call a petulant finality. “We have been for days .” I apologized profusely for having presumed to waste his valuable time, and hung up.

More recently, I telephoned Madeo in West Hollywood in search of a table with my name on it. This time, I didn’t even get a chance to ask: The phone was answered not with the name of the restaurant nor a “Hello” (nor a “ Pronto “), but with a gruff, accented “Yes?,” as if the answerer were annoyed at being bothered.

“Ah . . . is this Madeo?” I inquired.

Back came the selfsame monosyllable.

“Never mind,” I said, and again replaced the receiver.

Now, both of these restaurants are good ones and will probably do just fine, at least for now, no matter how they treat their potential customers. Wave is packed to its impeccably turned-out rafters every night (to the point that reservations might not be honored, if that’s the right word, until an hour or more after they should be). But the sheer stupidity of permitting phone rudenesses simply amazes me.

Don’t restaurants realize that whoever answers their telephones is their first emissary, the first indication the would-be diner gets of the style and spirit and professionalism of the establishment? For that matter, didn’t anybody ever teach the perpetrators of such push-button inurbanity a little plain good manners? Finally, don’t public eating places, however trendy, understand that--ultimately--they need us much more than we need them?

BUT HOLD THE PHONE: Some restaurateurs, of course, use the telephone to their advantage. Consider Alice Waters of Berkeley’s Chez Panisse and Fanny’s, and Wolfgang Puck of our own Spago and Chinois on Main. They give old Ma Bell (or whatever they call her nowadays) a workout all the time, keeping in touch, chitchatting till the pot boils over about baby vegetables and wood-burning pizza ovens and other contemporary restaurant essentials. At least that’s what they’ll be telling us on one of those AT&T; it-pays-to-run-up-your-phone-bill commercials, which the two culinary superstars filmed recently in Los Angeles. Watch for it soon. Waters and Puck aren’t the first California restaurant personalities to have hit the airwaves for AT&T;, incidentally. The others? Clothier Jerry Magnin, who was co-founder of Harry’s Bar and American Grill, Prego, MacArthur Park, the “new” Chianti and other notable establishments as a part of the Spectrum Foods outfit, and Tony Bill, of 72 Market Street (though both appear in the spots with their non-restaurant hats on).

VARIOUS AND SUNDRY: A champagne reception, multi-course dinner and wine tasting, plus the screening of a videotape on Santa Barbara County’s Tepusquet Vineyard, will be Tuesday night at 7 at the Ballard Store in Solvang to benefit the Library of Santa Barbara County Wines. The price is $75 per person, and reduced-rate accommodations in the area are available. Information: (805) 688-5319 for more. . . . Sabroso in Venice jumps the gun a bit, celebrating Cinco de Mayo on May 4 with a special $15 prix fixe feast, including a choice of mole poblano , shrimp tacos or cheese enchiladas as main course. All beers and wines will be $1.50 a glass, and no reservations are accepted. . . . Donatello’s in Brentwood has launched a series of special nightly dinners, four courses worth at $22.50 a head. Monday is Italian night, Tuesday for France, Wednesday for the United States and Thursday for Russia. Fridays will honor such nations as Mexico (this Friday), Denmark, and Morocco--and special Saturday meals will be based around famous restaurants or personalities of the past, from Delmonico’s to the Brown Derby, Cleopatra to Scarlett O’Hara. And to think these guys started out selling ice cream. . . . Lawry’s California Center reopens for outdoor dining on Thursday, with a new filet mignon with sauce Diane added to the traditional menu. . . . And Alain Senderens, proprietor of the three-star Lucas-Carton in Paris, has found a location for the New York restaurant he’s been talking about lately--41 W. 56th St., site of the former Orsini’s. He will reportedly supervise both the New York and Paris restaurants, with Christian DeLouvrier, chef at Manhattan’s Maurice (in the Parker-Meridien Hotel)--where Senderens has been consultant--as full-time chef at the former. The most interesting part of the whole story to me, though, is that DeLouvrier’s replacement at Maurice will reportedly be Jean-Louis Palladin, now of Jean-Louis at the Watergate in Washington, who is certainly one of the best French chefs in the United States today.

SPECIAL DINNERS: To celebrate Passover, Angeli on Melrose will be serving special meals through next Thursday. This is nothing like your ordinary Seder. The food, which comes from the Jewish-Italian kitchen, includes everything from matzos with Sephardic horosith to filet of sole with parsley and black olives. Kosher wines will be served. . . . And a celebration of quite a different kind will take place on May 6 at the Hotel Bel-Air. This year, Wally’s annual Bordeaux Dinner features the ’83 vintage. The guest of honor is Christian Moueix, proprietor of Chateau Petrus. Some of his older wines will be tasted, along with first-growth ‘83s from various other producers. The cost of the black-tie dinner is $175 per person; for information, call (213) 475-0606.