Oh, Well! Nobody’s Perfect

The worst predictions in sports history? Here are a few from the book “Sports Quotes” by Bob Abel and Michael Valenti:

--”That kid can’t play baseball. He can’t pull the ball.”--Tommy Holmes, manager of the Braves’ Triple-A team, on Henry Aaron in 1952.

--”If Dick Williams goes to the Yankees or any other team, I’d love to go with him. But Mr. Finley has told me I’ll die in his green and gold.”--Reggie Jackson of the Oakland A’s in 1973.

--”(Duane) Bobick is a very durable fighter.”--Ken Norton, before meeting Bobick in 1977. Bobick was knocked out in the first round.

--”We want the whole world to know this time we’re going to win the Super Bowl.”--Fran Tarkenton of Minnesota, a three-time Super Bowl loser, before Super Bowl XI. Oakland won, 32-14.

--”Bob Lemon is going to be our manager all year. You can bet on it. I don’t care if we come in last. I swear on my heart he’ll be the manager all season.”--George Steinbrenner, owner of the New York Yankees in 1982. Lemon was fired after the 14th game.

If you’re planning a vacation in Mexico, here are a couple of tips from Susie Woodhams of the Dallas Times Herald, just back from the World Cup:

--”Get used to the smell of smoke. Almost everyone in Mexico puffs non-stop, even joggers.”

--”Don’t get excited when your cab driver runs a red light. As one driver explained ‘Red lights in Mexico are merely a suggestion.’ ”

Trivia Time: What major league player was a member of three last-place teams in 1985? (Answer below.)

Skip Bayless of the Dallas Times Herald, on the big crowds at Wimbledon: “That brings to mind the story of the bobby who actually arrested one Wimbledon fan for “groping” (pinching in a crowd). The fan said, ‘I’m guilty, but there was some choice crumpet out there today.’ ”

Tom Seaver, now of the Boston Red Sox, on his uniform number: “Pudge Fisk tells this long, involved story how he came to wear 72. People ask me how I came to wear 41. It’s a short story. That was the number hanging in the locker that first spring training I joined the Mets just as it is now.”

Note: Among the reasons Fisk gave was that 72 was the reverse of 27 that he wore at Boston before going to Chicago.

Add Red Sox: If you invite Wade Boggs to dinner, don’t worry about him being late.

Of his father, a former Marine and Air Force man, he told the Hartford Courant: “Dinner was always at 5:30, and if you weren’t home at 5:30, you didn’t eat. So you learned to always know where the clocks were in your friends’ houses, and to this day I always notice clocks. I woke up at precisely the same time every day for 18 years. If I woke up, say, 30 minutes late, I was out of sync all day.”

Shortly before Bo Jackson signed with the Kansas City Royals, Minnesota Twin scout Fred Waters told Charley Walters of the St. Paul Pioneer Press: “He’s got Mickey Mantle-type power, but he’s got some catching up to do, too, and not only with the bat. He’s really not a good outfielder, but his speed was so good in college that it didn’t really matter. I’d say he’s three or four years away from being able to hit in the big leagues.”

Add Bo: Memphis Chick Manager Tommy Jones, on the impressive build of Bo Jackson: “The first time I saw him in a uniform I thought it was two guys standing next to each other.”

Trivia Answer: Johnny LeMaster, who was traded from San Francisco to Cleveland to Pittsburgh.

Quotebook

George Steinbrenner, hearing that son Hank Steinbrenner, a non-titled member of the New York Yankee front office, has been telling people he’s the No. 2 man in the organization: “What I think he means is he’s No. 2 at home at the dinner table.”