Miniature Golf: It’s No Small Business

It seems many people have been fooled for years about which sport is America’s favorite pastime.

Baseball? No way.

Football? Forget it.

Badminton? Take your shuttlecock and get out of here.

Those fade into the shadows when compared to the big daddy of all sports:

Miniature golf. That’s right. Putt-putt.

Millions of Americans swarm all over miniature golf courses, especially in the summer and especially at the beaches, where they--the golf courses and the millions of Americans--seem to crawl out of the sand in great numbers.

Why not?

Where else can you carefully line up a putt and smack a little golf ball between an elephant’s legs?

Miniature golf courses are part of Americana. You can’t find this stuff anywhere else.

Big, goofy animals (here’s a tip: the plastic ones are real, but ask the furry ones to play through), putting greens that defy gravity and little windmills that go around and around in front of a little opening that you would have difficulty seeing, much less hitting a ball through, even if the windmill arms weren’t twirling in front of it.

In the case of the windmill, a screwdriver and pair of pliers will solve that problem in a hurry. Same goes for the little barn with the doors constantly opening and shutting. The players behind you will love it.

Although no one can say for sure, Myrtle Beach must be one of the capitals of miniature golf. There is a course every six or eight feet. One features a giant yellow Buddha, with blinking lights for eyes, that sits on a hill overlooking the links

First “Dialing for Dollars;” now “Putting for Buddha.” It is clearly a religious experience, but this Buddha is stingy with the birdies.

Miniature golf, for all of its zany, madcap fun, is a big business.

Putt-Putt Golf Courses of America Inc. is the biggest and most organized operation. The company, marking its 32nd anniversary this year, has more than 430 franchises across the United States. Its name has become to miniature golf what Kleenex is to runny noses.

More than 25 million people played on Putt-Putt courses last year. A spokeswoman for the company said it is worth $100 million.

Since independent courses far outnumber Putt-Putt courses--no one will hazard a guess, but there must be at least 10 times as many--it’s easy to see why this is truly America’s game.