DUCK DROPPINGS

From the reviews on “Howard,” about the only fun to be had were the puns that all but a very rare few critics and their headline writers could avoid. Samples:

“Bad-movie historians could not ask for a more mallard-droit venture”--Michael Burkett, Orange County Register. His head: “ ‘Howard’ Lays an Atomic Egg.”

” . . . may fly before word-of-mouth wings it”--Jane Galbraith, Daily Variety.

“How many duck jokes can you stand in one movie? In ‘Howard’ they come at you with feathered frenzy. . . . Before long, you want to strangle the quacks who made this movie”--Kirk Honeycutt, L.A. Daily News. His head: “Little to Quack Up About in ‘Howard.’ ”

Washington Post head: “Cold Duck.”

“Here’s our bottom-line de-duck-tion: Howard’s a lame duck, not a dead duck”--Tom Green, USA Today.

“After 111 minutes . . . you may want to yell ‘Fowl!’ or ‘Duck soup, anyone?’ “--Glenn Lovell, San Jose Mercury-News.