THE FALL TV SEASON : TV REVIEWS : ‘SIDEKICKS,’ ‘MAMA’S FAMILY’ IN DEBUTS

There is one word that describes ABC’s “Sidekicks,” a rather rum-dum, semi-dramatic series premiering at 8:30 tonight on Channels 7, 3, 10 and 42:

Hayahhhhhh!!!!

If you saw the Disney movie pilot, you know that bachelor cop Jake Rizzo (Gil Gerard) has become the reluctant guardian of young Ernie (Ernie Reyes Jr.), a karate-chopping Asian kid who often recalls the teachings of his late grandfather (Keye Luke). Such as:

“The way to catch a fly is to be quicker than a fly.” I knew that. Didn’t you know that?

Luke also spoke in proverbs to David Carradine in “Kung Fu” and apparently will spend the rest of his career as a living fortune cookie.

Rizzo, a Big Lug, and little Ernie clash on tonight’s episode (the series will air Fridays at 9:30 p.m. hereafter). Rizzo is flawed, Ernie is perfect. Rizzo is a slob, Ernie is fastidious. Hey, how are these two goof-offs ever gonna live together in peace, huh?

The episode begins with Ernie working over some big bullies who are harassing some schoolgirls and ends with Ernie working over a condo thief that Rizzo has been chasing.

In between: Ernie drives that Big Lug Rizzo up a wall. Ernie runs away after he feels rejected. Ernie recalls another wise saying from his grandfather: “Even the river cannot move the largest stone. But the river must continue to flow.”

Just once you’d like to hear Ernie reply: “Why?”

Twelve-year-old Reyes is cute, very likable and has great karate moves. Gerard is low key--almost no key--but adequate. Together, though, they move no stones and definitely don’t flow. Which proves:

The way to catch a river is to be quicker than a river.