College Football / Richard Hoffer : Donahue Worries a Lot, It’s True, but It Isn’t Anything to Worry About

We see where UCLA Coach Terry Donahue is worrying about his public image, the image being whether he worries too much. Seems as though he got a little defensive about it, in fact.

But no need, no need, Terry. We’re with you on this. In fact, we got to thinking about football coaches who don’t . Worry, that is. And we came up with kind of a short list. Here’s our top five happy-go-lucky, not-a-care-in-the-world, tell-me-when-it’s-over-and-I’ll-buy-you-a-beer bunch:

1. John Robinson, former USC coach.

2. Barry Switzer, Oklahoma.

3.

4.

5.

In fact, college football coaches, as a rule, are wound tight enough to make Big Ben bong. Does anybody remember Nebraska’s Tom Osborne, reacting to some gossip, taking a lie detector test before a Sugar Bowl? Stress management, Tom. That’s where it’s at.

And here’s something we heard last week from Tim Rose, whose Miami (of course it’s Ohio) team had just beaten Central Michigan, 59-21. “Take away the eight turnovers and it may have been a 59-49 game,” he said.

This is the stuff of a big-time college football coach. Remember the name.

Putting points on the board: Some reporters were remarking that Arizona State Coach John Cooper has become college football’s cliche champion. Last week, before the Washington game, he used game face and fish or cut bait in the same sentence. Impressive enough.

But then, to fire up his team, he showed them a wooden sign that the Huskies had allegedly torn down upon entering Sun Devil Stadium. It’s a small board, saying, “This is the Devil House.” But Cooper was outraged.

It’s the old “They tore our sign down” ploy. Kind of a cliche in itself. Nevertheless, his outrage was sufficient to motivate the Sun Devils to take a 17-0 first-quarter lead.

That was good, but Cooper compounded the motivational cliche by bringing the sign in again at halftime . Maybe he saw his kids losing steam. Anyway, it worked again. ASU won going away.

The funny thing is, when somebody asked an Arizona State student about the sign, the student said, “Oh, yeah, we tore that down before the game.”

Sportswriters to Temple: Pow! Crash! Zowie! Nobody ever accused us Heisman Trophy voters of reading “War and Peace” at halftime, but, hey, Temple, give us a break. We’re literate enough that we don’t need to get a Paul Palmer comic book--”The quest for the Heisman”--in the mail. A comic book! Go ahead, insult our intelligence. If we’re so dumb, how come we can read a play-by-play? Huh?

Temple to sportswriters (more or less): If you’re so smart, how come you didn’t give Palmer, who is leading the country in rushing with an average of 177 yards a game, so much as a single vote last season when he finished second in the country in rushing and all-purpose rushing? Huh? Here, read this picture . . .

Worst run from scrimmage: Maryland’s Bobby Ross made everybody’s lowlights film last week when he raced off the field to grab the referee after his team was beaten on a last-second field goal. It looked bad. It was bad. Real bad. Only justice is that Ross pulled a hamstring on his petulant sprint.

Oh yeah, he was also suspended for a game by the Atlantic Coast Conference, which dictated the following scenario: For the Terrapins’ game against Clemson Nov. 15, Ross can’t stand on the sidelines with his team.

That’s the same game Clemson Coach Danny Ford has been suspended from, because of his actions at last year’s Maryland-Clemson game.

Maybe those two can chase each other around the press box. Anyway, the officials are safe.

Life in the big hate: There is some bad blood, evidently, between Iowa State Coach Jim Criner and Missouri Coach Woody Widenhofer.

Criner, upset with Missouri over some supposedly late hits, called a timeout so a field goal could be added to the eventual 34-14 score, then said: “Woody has got a million excuses, and we just wanted to make sure there was no doubt about who won the football game. He runs off at the mouth a little too much.”

Bad blood’s good. Only problem is, nobody recalls seeing Criner and Widenhofer out on the field, spilling any of it. Seems as though a lot of kids, 18 to 22, paid the price on this one.

Jim Criner, meet Bobby Ross.

Cal calling: Since it has been made official that this is Joe Kapp’s last season at Cal, and in keeping with our editorial philosophy--we give you nothing if we don’t give you rumors--here are some speculated successors: Jim Walden of Washington State, Jim Sochor of UC Davis, Fisher DeBerry of Air Force and Artie Gigantino, the defensive coordinator at USC.

Hold it, scratch Walden. If he leaves, it will be for a power where he doesn’t have to scramble for attendance. He’s had enough conference obscurity in Pullman. The only exposure you can get at Cal, apparently, is indecent.

Jim Criner, meet Barry Switzer: Here’s what the Oklahoma coach had to say about running up the score. “When it’s meaningless, and when the ball game is won, we’ve never called a timeout. We’ve been in situations like that many times.

“It’s meaningless. I think it’s embarrassing. I won’t even let my offensive coordinator call passes in the second half sometimes when we’ve got games out of reach because it will look like we’re trying to score.”

Bowl update: Well, the Cherry Bowl just announced it was doubling its payout for a Miami-Penn State championship game. Or was it the Potato Bowl? No, no, no--it was the, uh, Gator Bowl. So, let’s see, that’s the Fiesta, Citrus and Gator bowls that are in the bidding.

Gator folks are latest entrants in the wooing of the two independents, promising sponsorship bucks from Mazda. Fiesta’s promised payout is from Sunkist, and Citrus is hoping for an ABC-TV subsidy.

This is starting to sound like one of those old Mickey Rooney movies: “Hey, kids! Let’s put on a championship game!”

Meanwhile, the four majors are scrambling. The Orange Bowl, which will probably have Oklahoma as its Big Eight representative, has been looking at Big Ten runner-ups, either Iowa or Ohio State, and Pacific 10 also-rans, with the exception of UCLA, which has already been blown out by Oklahoma. How about Washington?

The Sugar Bowl will have the Southeastern Conference champion, probably Alabama, and possibly Nebraska. The Rose Bowl looks set--Michigan-Arizona State? The Cotton Bowl could match Texas A&M;, the Southwest Conference hopeful, and a Big Ten runner-up.

Meanwhile, wouldn’t you know, scouts--Citrus and Freedom--are showing up at Notre Dame’s games. The Irish are 3-4, and here’s quarterback Steve Beuerlein: “If we keep winning, we could possibly be someplace on New Year’s Day.”

Does South Bend ring a bell?

Finally, look for the Pac-10 to disperse across the country for the bowl season. Six of the teams have 6-2 or better records.

Record-keeping: Alabama’s Van Tiffin set an NCAA record last week when he kicked his 129th consecutive extra point. He hasn’t missed a PAT kick, in fact, since his first attempt at Red Bay, Ala., High. Counting high school, that’s 152 in a row.

Stanford Coach Jack Elway, in a rout over Washington State, inserted Brad Muster late in the game. Reason? Muster needed two carries to break Ernie Nevers’ school record of 35. Muster finished with 36 carries for 186 yards and topped Nevers’ old record.